Tiger Woods Coverup Scandal
Old 08-04-2009, 08:59 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Tiger Woods -- Whoever Smelt It Dealt It

Tiger Woods ripped it up at the Buick Open this weekend -- and if you listen closely to the sound while he was on the 18th hole, he may have also let one rip...Take a close look at Tiger's reaction -- is that the face of a guilty, gassy man?
Source: TMZ.com

Quote:
FartGate -- CBS Denies Tiger Supplied It

CBS is broken-hearted, swearing Tiger wasn't the one who farted.

Moonves' minions have finally responded to FartGate '09, telling TMZ Tiger Woods wasn't gassy on 18 at the Buick Open -- and the obvious flatulent sound came from somebody else.

But CBS didn't crack this caper -- refusing to say who cut the cheese.

The mystery lingers...
Sources: TMZ.com


My friends, this is a conspiracy in the making. Tiger blew a big gassy fart out into the atmosphere and the power that be are attempting to cover it up...With Glade freshness in the form of denials.

Last edited by Apollo; 08-04-2009 at 09:02 AM.
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Old 08-04-2009, 10:09 AM   #2 (permalink)
waiting for the sun to come out so he can let his guns out.

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Wow, Tiger is human!
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Old 08-04-2009, 10:11 AM   #3 (permalink)
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LOOOL.
I thought it was something along the lines of cheating.
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Old 08-04-2009, 10:51 AM   #4 (permalink)
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It sounds phoney to me.

Good for Tiger though.
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Old 08-04-2009, 09:01 PM   #5 (permalink)
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this shows what kind of a world we live in...a player farting is a fucking story???...seriously???.....i though it was gonna be something about him cheating, using steroids or him using some crazy high tech golf club thingie...
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Old 08-04-2009, 09:07 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by A00715890 View Post
this shows what kind of a world we live in...a player farting is a fucking story???...seriously???.....i though it was gonna be something about him cheating, using steroids or him using some crazy high tech golf club thingie...
Why would you use steriods in golf? My grandma can hit a ball onto the fair way. If anything, it would make it worse.
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Old 08-04-2009, 09:10 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Why would you use steriods in golf? My grandma can hit a ball onto the fair way. If anything, it would make it worse.
There are some drugs that help your concentration or steady your pulse. Maybe some of those are ilegal.
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Old 08-04-2009, 09:34 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Why would you use steriods in golf? My grandma can hit a ball onto the fair way. If anything, it would make it worse.
iam just saying...that i would have guessed those things before the story being about tiger woods fart...
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Old 08-04-2009, 10:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
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It's TMZ.

What were you expecting them to report?
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Old 08-05-2009, 12:53 AM   #10 (permalink)
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It's TMZ.

What were you expecting them to report?
it didn't say tmz on the title....if it did i probably wouldn't have read it....
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Old 08-05-2009, 12:59 AM   #11 (permalink)
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makes me wonder if he has somehow been using fart-power to excel all these years. should this even be legal?
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Old 08-05-2009, 01:27 AM   #12 (permalink)
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makes me wonder if he has somehow been using fart-power to excel all these years. should this even be legal?
wow...
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Old 08-05-2009, 09:29 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Why would you use steriods in golf? My grandma can hit a ball onto the fair way. If anything, it would make it worse.
The stronger you are the further you can hit the ball but more importantly, the stronger you are the easier you can cut through thick knee high rough and put it in the fairway or green. These guys hit out of rough that is sometimes so thick that it would stall your lawn mower.

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it didn't say tmz on the title....if it did i probably wouldn't have read it....
I don't have a trophy for biggest cry baby, if that's what you're thinking.

Last edited by Apollo; 08-05-2009 at 09:32 AM.
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Old 08-05-2009, 09:38 AM   #14 (permalink)
Unacceptable?! Did you see the pool? They flipped the bitch!

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Being on roids would definitely help. The stronger you are, you can swing with less perceived force and focus more on making sure you hit the ball straight.

You will hit the ball just as far as you would if you were weaker and went full tilt.

Being stronger is a huge advantage in just about ANY sport. The only issue becomes if you are sacrificing flexibility or gaining excess mass.

People claim it doesn't help you hit homeruns and that is absolute nonsense. It gives your more distance and makes your swing faster. If your swing is faster you get a split-second longer to look at the pitch to determine what it is.
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Old 08-05-2009, 12:50 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Yeah, there is a reason why virtually no one lifted weights on tour prior to Tiger Woods entering the PGA and why virtually everybody does now that he dominates the tour. Tiger is huge and he uses that strength to dominate on a level that even Jack could not match in his prime.
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Old 08-05-2009, 01:28 PM   #16 (permalink)
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heh.

Muscles only help professional golfers with very elite mental strength.

Trust that.
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Old 08-05-2009, 01:29 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Muscles help all golfers.
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Old 08-05-2009, 01:34 PM   #18 (permalink)
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it's not as easy as just getting ripped and playing better.

Trust me.

Very interesting things happen to your larger muscle groups when you are under pressure.

It's very VERY hard to keep the large muscles from getting in the way of the small muscles during the swing.

Woods is known for his elite mental ability to relax under pressure. Most big hitters and big guys on tour are VERY poor under the gun, and there is a very measurable reason. Being in elite physical fitness is different from being full of strength and musculature in the game of golf, fitness by far is more important than strength.

I know. I golfed the ball at one point.
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Old 08-05-2009, 03:16 PM   #19 (permalink)
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it's not as easy as just getting ripped and playing better.

Trust me.

Very interesting things happen to your larger muscle groups when you are under pressure.

It's very VERY hard to keep the large muscles from getting in the way of the small muscles during the swing.

Woods is known for his elite mental ability to relax under pressure. Most big hitters and big guys on tour are VERY poor under the gun, and there is a very measurable reason. Being in elite physical fitness is different from being full of strength and musculature in the game of golf, fitness by far is more important than strength.

I know. I golfed the ball at one point.
I don't think anyone is suggesting that the mental aspect is more important than the physical (are they?).

Being more ripped helps you golf better as long as what you do doesn't mess up your swing.

I know. I golfed the ball at one point....hahah

Since last summer I have put on 20 lbs, I would say almost all of which is muscle, and it is way easier for me to hit the ball now with less effort and a smoother swing.

Granted I'm not Tiger fucking Woods and it would make less of a difference to a pro but I think it would still be a measurable impact. Otherwise he wouldn't lift as much as he does.
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Old 08-05-2009, 03:58 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Superjudge View Post
it's not as easy as just getting ripped and playing better.

Trust me.

Very interesting things happen to your larger muscle groups when you are under pressure.

It's very VERY hard to keep the large muscles from getting in the way of the small muscles during the swing.

Woods is known for his elite mental ability to relax under pressure. Most big hitters and big guys on tour are VERY poor under the gun, and there is a very measurable reason. Being in elite physical fitness is different from being full of strength and musculature in the game of golf, fitness by far is more important than strength.

I know. I golfed the ball at one point.
Guy, I play golf a lot and I'm not saying you'll play good golf if you're built like a brick house. What I am telling you is that it makes a difference.

Obviously golf it a mental game, I thought that went without saying. Beyond being mentally strong, being phyically strong can make a huge difference if you're an intermediate golfer and beyond. I'm willing to say that if you're at the level where you're below a 25 handicap then physical conditioning can play a huge role in terms of distance, shot recovery(battling the elements like the wind, cold and rain), spin and home stretch endurance/consistency.

The idea that if you're big you can't have a good consistent swing is ridiculous. I'm sorry but I have never heard anyone knock a competitor for being in superb condition in any sport or game or what have you. The stronger you are the more doors are open to you to do special things that the average player cannot.

Last edited by Apollo; 08-05-2009 at 04:03 PM.
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