A story to introduce "Barracuda"
Old 09-08-2008, 01:28 PM   #1 (permalink)
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A few of you may have noticed we have another member going by the name of "Barracuda". Barracuda as in Ooooh Barracuda, the rockin Heart tune. Anyhow, a little story to give you a little intro to this gal, maybe a little insight.

So I'm at my buddy Robs house, a dude I grew up playing hoops with, and watch games with still during the season (he had cable). The game, an opening series tilt between the Raps and the Magic, Howard is doing his thing, KILLING the Raps in the paint like he's Zeus himself, and I'm just letting the Television have it. Sj Style.

Bosh you effin PUSSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Parker, you're fucking soft.....

You know, all the stuff I yell almost every night. Rob is yelling too. Rob was a great player in his day, but chose music over hoops after High School, but he still knows his shit. So here's Rob and I going off on our boys, were obviously not happy, and it's actually wrecking our night a little. And I hear this little beep beep.

This is a text message, and I know that only my Gal texts me, and at the time Cuda' is still living out of town. I figure I am gonna get a little update as to what she's up to, an "I love you", a bit of information on the upcoming weekend, you know boys, all them messages we say we hate but deep down LOVE.

Ya no.

I don't get that.

I get the following.

" Dwight Howard is a fucking Samquamch".

That's it.

Simple.

To the point.

And at the time, better than any input I was getting from any of these forums.

The girl had summed up the Raptors woes in one fucking text message.

I was in tears laughing, we both were, you had to have been there. As big fans, we totally appreciated it.

Since then we have been to a game, and she has patiently sat through about a dozen "Game in an hour's" with me. She knows when something is amiss, i.e. Last night she says, "who the hell is that"??????

Heh, it was Maceo Bastion, his only fucking minutes, and she just knew something was out of whack.

This is Barracuda folks, Anthony Parker aficionado and Samquanch hater, take her lightly and she'll eat ya for Breakfast. Trust me.
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Old 09-08-2008, 01:32 PM   #2 (permalink)
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haha ... funny story SJ.

Man ... teach me oh wise one ... how do I get my wife to sit down with me to watch Raptors games?
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Old 09-08-2008, 01:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
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you don't.

It's instinct.

She's just smart.
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Old 09-08-2008, 01:33 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I believe I also said something about the ref having an affinity for Howard's balls that night, but that's just details.

Nice post, thanks for the intro.



(I'm scared to see what the pic is sposed to be... right now it's a lovely red x. Rookie. )
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Old 09-08-2008, 01:36 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Nice.

My girlfriend's contributions...

She refers to Colangelo as Satan.

"Satan is gross and creepy looking. Why do they show him so much?"

and

"Why do the Raptors always let the other team push them around so much?"

Then we discuss Sam's choice of suit that evening, then she wants to know if Hump is white or black...
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Old 09-08-2008, 01:38 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Old 09-08-2008, 01:40 PM   #7 (permalink)
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***Wheeze***

Fucking Samsquantch

I Hate Fucking Samsquantches
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Old 09-08-2008, 01:41 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I got.

"Anthony Parker is really cute, I don't know why you bother watching the beginning, just watch the last 5 mins, its always close anyway, I'll give you a "massage" if I can watch Survivor instead"
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Old 09-08-2008, 01:43 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ACIEEARL40 View Post
Nice.


Then we discuss Sam's choice of suit that evening, then she wants to know if Hump is white or black...
We had the same conversation last night....

He's a chameleon.
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Old 09-08-2008, 01:45 PM   #10 (permalink)
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HA!

We both call Delfino the anti-christ.

Or Dragon Ball Z.

Colangelo is "douchebag"

This year should be fun.
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Old 09-08-2008, 01:46 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I always get "its a commercial, want me to get you another beer?"

Suck on that.....
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Old 09-08-2008, 01:54 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SnoochieBoochie View Post
I always get "its a commercial, want me to get you another beer?"

Suck on that.....
So wait....in order to get a beer, you have to suck on what????

Stop watching your games at Zippers.
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Old 09-08-2008, 02:05 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Benzo View Post
So wait....in order to get a beer, you have to suck on what????

Stop watching your games at Zippers.
Only you would think that.......

hater....
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Old 09-08-2008, 02:18 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Mine used to call swirsky "horny voice" and she would constantly tell me to turn down the volume.

I guess i won't have that problem anymore.

At least you guys have someone patient enough to watch the game! I'm often relegated to the smaller bedroom TV.
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Old 09-08-2008, 02:19 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fancylad View Post
Mine used to call swirsky "horny voice" and she would constantly tell me to turn down the volume.

I guess i won't have that problem anymore.

At least you guys have someone patient enough to watch the game! I'm often relegated to the smaller bedroom TV.
Put that foot down!!!!
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Old 09-08-2008, 02:36 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I'm a Magic Man.
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Old 09-08-2008, 02:39 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Apollo View Post
I'm a Magic Man.
I have a magic stick...
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Old 09-08-2008, 04:42 PM   #18 (permalink)
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no you don't

you're married to a liar.
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Old 09-08-2008, 04:46 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Superjudge View Post
no you don't

you're married to a liar.
She doesnt know here measurments, she tells everyone Ive got a nine incher, I dont have the heart to tell her it a Centimeter, not Inch
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Old 09-08-2008, 04:48 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SnoochieBoochie View Post
She doesnt know here measurments, she tells everyone Ive got a nine incher, I dont have the heart to tell her it a Centimeter, not Inch
I don't believe you.

SJ told me that it's impossible for them to be over 6cm.

He said it's a lie that Hollywood made to sell more penis pumps.

You LIE.
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