Random Thought Thread. - Page 6
Old 09-10-2008, 02:22 PM   #101 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barracuda View Post
Yes.

He sure has.
You say that all matter of factly, heard it before?
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Old 09-10-2008, 02:25 PM   #102 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SnoochieBoochie View Post
You say that all matter of factly, heard it before?
I'm not allowed to talk about it.

Besides, I might get emotional.


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Old 09-10-2008, 02:29 PM   #103 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barracuda View Post
I'm not allowed to talk about it.

Besides, I might get emotional.


Nice...

Darrick Martin said it to me once, but it really creaped me out
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Old 09-10-2008, 02:40 PM   #104 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SnoochieBoochie View Post
Nice...

Darrick Martin said it to me once, but it really creaped me out
So this must haunt your dreams....

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Old 09-10-2008, 02:48 PM   #105 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barracuda View Post
So this must haunt your dreams....



I can still hear him saying:


Long or short,
thick or thin
the Vaseline will get er in
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Old 09-10-2008, 05:38 PM   #106 (permalink)
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LOL
WTF was that.
You actually made me laugh out loud
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Old 10-09-2008, 12:34 PM   #107 (permalink)
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if a syncronized swimmer drowns, does everyone else too?
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Old 10-09-2008, 12:39 PM   #108 (permalink)
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Not if they're a shitty team!
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Old 10-09-2008, 12:45 PM   #109 (permalink)
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Why do people wash their hands after they go to the bathroom?

Their hands are filthy, the rest of them no so much.

Wouldn't it make more sense to wash before touching the clean parts of your body with dirty hands?
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Old 10-09-2008, 12:49 PM   #110 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ACIEEARL40 View Post
Why do people wash their hands after they go to the bathroom?

Their hands are filthy, the rest of them no so much.

Wouldn't it make more sense to wash before touching the clean parts of your body with dirty hands?
I do.

I'm always gonna take care of "the general", you know the "ol' sugar stick"
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Old 10-09-2008, 12:49 PM   #111 (permalink)
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Why are there such a thing as "Jumbo Shrimp"
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Old 10-09-2008, 12:51 PM   #112 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ACIEEARL40 View Post
Why do people wash their hands after they go to the bathroom?

Their hands are filthy, the rest of them no so much.

Wouldn't it make more sense to wash before touching the clean parts of your body with dirty hands?
the old carlin line - if i was worried about getting my hands dirty from touching my dick, i'd wash my dick, not my hands.
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Old 10-09-2008, 12:58 PM   #113 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 'trane View Post
the old carlin line - if i was worried about getting my hands dirty from touching my dick, i'd wash my dick, not my hands.
Carlin had some great ones.

Quote:
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

If the "blackbox" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why
isn't the whole darn airplane made out of that stuff?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys
and apes?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help
section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all
still working?

If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become
disoriented?
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Old 10-09-2008, 12:58 PM   #114 (permalink)
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More from George

Quote:
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

7. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in . . . what happens to the other penny?

8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

10. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

11. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

12. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

13. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

14. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

15. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

16. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

17. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

18. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

19. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

20. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're cramming for their final exam.

21. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

22. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

23. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

24. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

25. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

26. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

27. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

28. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
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Old 10-09-2008, 01:21 PM   #115 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ACIEEARL40 View Post
Why do people wash their hands after they go to the bathroom?

Their hands are filthy, the rest of them no so much.

Wouldn't it make more sense to wash before touching the clean parts of your body with dirty hands?
High 5.
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Old 10-19-2008, 09:45 PM   #116 (permalink)
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Would ther be anything stupider than if Evan Longoria hooked up with Eva Longoria?
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Old 10-19-2008, 11:50 PM   #117 (permalink)
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"Ideology is a luxury good in times of crisis."

Nancy Koehn, a historian at the Harvard Business School
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Old 10-20-2008, 12:34 AM   #118 (permalink)
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Why can't my body digest corn?
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Old 11-21-2008, 09:54 AM   #119 (permalink)
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I love infomercials. Especially of the product is complete shit and i would never buy it.

Recently i saw a commercial / infomercial for something called "the snuggie". just about the stupidest thing anyone would ever buy.

Also, I was a huge fan of the "sham-wow" commercials that used to show up on TV not that long ago.

Another good one is the "magic bullet." I don't mean the product is good, i mean the infomercial is awesome.
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Old 11-21-2008, 09:55 AM   #120 (permalink)
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I looooove the Sham-wow informercial. Makes me wanna buy one every time, even thought I HATE the dude.

And the magic bullet IS actually a good product. Who knew?
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