The joke/riddle/pun thread
Old 02-17-2009, 02:22 PM   #1 (permalink)
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ok i m no good at jokes but I like reading em

so... if you have any old favourites then just post them.

If its a riddle don't post the answer just yet. Us readers have to guess


here is one..... Q. why did the cereal hide in the cupboard.
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Old 02-17-2009, 02:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
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i dunno? why?
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Old 02-17-2009, 02:55 PM   #3 (permalink)
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A pirate walks into a bar with a big ship's wheel down his pants.

The bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants?"

And the pirate says...

"Aaargh, it's driving me nuts!"
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Old 02-17-2009, 02:59 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Q: Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippie?

A: He was too far out man.
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Old 02-17-2009, 03:08 PM   #5 (permalink)
I believe in Masai!

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what's the difference between mick jagger and a scotsman?

mick jagger says 'hey you get off my cloud'

a scotsman says "hey mccloud, get off my ewe!"
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Old 02-17-2009, 03:14 PM   #6 (permalink)
blah!

nosce te ipsum


 
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hahahaha (to all of those)

What do Manchester United Fans and sperm have in common?


One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

sorry hoops. I love you.
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Old 02-17-2009, 03:14 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
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i dunno? why?
cuz a " cerial killer" was on the loose.
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Old 02-17-2009, 03:15 PM   #8 (permalink)
blah!

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Quote:
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cuz a " cerial killer" was on the loose.
ouch.

got any more?
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Old 02-17-2009, 03:17 PM   #9 (permalink)
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yo momma so fat she used a crop duster to apply perfume!

yo momma so fat the movie theatre hired her as the screen


LOL there stupid but funny
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Old 02-17-2009, 03:19 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
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ouch.

got any more?

I sense some sarcasm in your writing!!


I do but i have to think of them first?
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Old 02-17-2009, 03:30 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Daniel, my son, is exactly one fifth of my age. In 21 years time, I will be exactly twice his age. My wife is exactly seven times older than my daughter, Jessica. In 8 years time, my wife will be three times older then Jessica. How old are Daniel and Jessica now?
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Old 02-17-2009, 03:32 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Whats the differemce between George Bush and Steve Martin?

Steve Martin isn't going bald yet
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Old 02-17-2009, 03:41 PM   #13 (permalink)
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An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
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Old 02-17-2009, 03:47 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germain View Post
Daniel, my son, is exactly one fifth of my age. In 21 years time, I will be exactly twice his age. My wife is exactly seven times older than my daughter, Jessica. In 8 years time, my wife will be three times older then Jessica. How old are Daniel and Jessica now?
Jessica is 4 and Daniel is 7.
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Old 02-17-2009, 03:59 PM   #15 (permalink)
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not bad belsius
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Old 02-17-2009, 04:12 PM   #16 (permalink)
blah!

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knock knock.
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Old 02-17-2009, 04:14 PM   #17 (permalink)
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i'll bite - who's there?
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Old 02-17-2009, 04:19 PM   #18 (permalink)
blah!

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jo
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Old 02-17-2009, 04:32 PM   #19 (permalink)
I believe in Masai!

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the trade just got finalized and he's back already???????





jo who?
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Old 02-17-2009, 04:33 PM   #20 (permalink)
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The Killing Joke

 
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oops
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