Can users of Facebook go too far?
Old 02-12-2009, 10:22 AM   #1 (permalink)
contemplating

The Killing Joke

 
Claudius's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Burkina Faso, Disputed Zone
Posts: 10,025
Representing:
Send a message via MSN to Claudius
Default Can users of Facebook go too far?

Read this article on the Globe and Mail this morning. Kind of an interesting piece and really takes the notion of "Big Brother" in the 1984 sense a little differently by placing the focus on the general populace.


Quote:
Facebook is ... breeding spying, jealous lovers
ZOSIA BIELSKI


Hours before their breakfast date, a woman's boyfriend buries his bleary-eyed face in the bosom of an aspiring stripper. Weeks later, the girlfriend finds their "photo shoot" on Facebook and has a jealous meltdown.

Another woman trolls her boyfriend's Facebook page days after he jets off to Prague for "international politics studies." She spots a photo of him with an attractive Romanian girl, his hands resting on her hips, the cobblestone streets behind them. She reams him out over the phone: "This is the way it ends, not with a bang but a whimper," she says coolly, referencing T.S. Eliot.

Dating just hasn't been the same since Facebook arrived five years ago. The social-networking site has rapidly devolved into a surveillance tool, dissolving many a relationship status in the process.

Canadian academics are now tallying the damage. For their paper, "More information than you ever wanted - does Facebook bring out the green-eyed monster of jealousy?" two University of Guelph psychology PhD students conducted a survey of 308 Facebook users and found the more time they spent on the site, the more suspicious they became of their partners. The women, who spent an average of 41 minutes on the site a day, grew more jealous than the men, who averaged 30 minutes.

"It became a feedback loop," says Amy Muise, co-author of the study, which looked at undergraduate students and will appear in an issue of the journal of CyberPsychology & Behaviour. (Canadian undergraduate students were picked because, according to Advertising Age, 90 per cent of the demographic reported using Facebook daily.)

"Seeing certain things on Facebook could enhance the jealousy that a person was experiencing, and that might lead to more surveillance and monitoring of their partner's Facebook page, which could then expose them to more jealousy-invoking information," Ms. Muise says.

Previous research on jealousy has described four triggers: Seeing a partner interact with an ex or someone you don't know; seeing someone show interest in your partner, and witnessing "ambiguous scenes."

"All of these things are happening on Facebook," co-author Emily Christofides says.

The researchers argue that the social-networking site provides a vast catalogue of potentially painful artifacts, the kind of stuff a partner might once have found in a dusty shoebox if they were determined.

On Facebook, users can easily become spectators to the days before they came along: They can gaze into their predecessors' lives, from flattering photos to frivolous interests and preferences - some of which can be disturbingly similar to their own.

More problematic is the fact that the site gives people unprecedented access to the "off hours" of their significant others. On Facebook, this information is "available and encouraged," Ms. Christofides says.

"You get a news feed telling you who posted on your partner's wall, who said what, what friends have been added," she said, pointing out that although most of the information is vague and lacking in meaningful context, it can be painful for some.

The risks are particularly high at the start of a courtship. The researchers write: "In young relationships, a glance at a rival or a small token of affection is sometimes enough to send those involved into a giddy high or momentary despair. In the past, flirty gestures of interest or signs of subtle disregard remained entirely within a person's own control, and partners in close relationships were most often not subjected to the daily scrutiny of their exchanges with members of their social circle."

Also not public was bantering with your ex. Surprisingly, nearly 75 per cent of respondents had added former flames as friends; close to 80 per cent reported that their partners had added their own exes.

"In the past, people in relationships had a certain degree of privacy about the nature of their relationships with other men and women. Now, your partner can question the nature of these relationships," said Serge Desmarais, a Guelph psychology professor who oversaw the research.

He adds that even those who refrain from spying on their partners are not immune: Well-meaning friends sometimes bombard them with "evidence."

"Suddenly everyone is on the lookout," Prof. Desmarais says. "Friends end up providing you with information that 10, 15 years ago you would never have found out about. ... And suddenly you're exposed to everybody else's misattribution of what's going on in the pictures and comments."

The bottom line: Facebook "seems to make it difficult for people to trust, even when they feel confident in their partner," Ms. Christofides says.
globeandmail.com: Canada's National Newspaper
Claudius is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 10:27 AM   #2 (permalink)
is pounding the rock!

Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 4,312
Representing:
Default

i dont see a big deal, dont be a moron and post pics of yourself cheating and give your facebook to your mistress. Ppl will be morons no matter what is invented.
Ugo Ferst is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 10:34 AM   #3 (permalink)
contemplating

The Killing Joke

 
Claudius's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Burkina Faso, Disputed Zone
Posts: 10,025
Representing:
Send a message via MSN to Claudius
Default

I don't think it's so much a question of cheating et al, but moreso if you go out to the bar and are in a group shot with your arm around another girl, your partner at the time could easily become jealous over a friendly gesture. It happens all the time.
Claudius is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 10:36 AM   #4 (permalink)
is pounding the rock!

Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 4,312
Representing:
Default

yea i guess that is true, try not dating obsessive, jealous, ridiculous women, has worked for me so far

My wife posted a pic of her and Kris Humphries eating Taco's.... i didnt freak :P now if it was Joey!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :P
Ugo Ferst is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 10:37 AM   #5 (permalink)
summa!

怪獣
 
logicz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Toronto
Posts: 884
Representing:
Default

great read ... facebook is really crippling our social life. I admit to facebook creeping, and i gotta say it sometimes does make me jealous.
logicz is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 10:38 AM   #6 (permalink)
saying too many dudes are Tyson Chandler, trying to lead their teams and went nowhere

Scarborough, We Go Hard..
 
MangoKidHoops's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 6,916
Representing:
Default

Facebook is the tool of the devil. You really want your life to be an open book to other people? I'm a pretty private person. That's why I'm not on there.
MangoKidHoops is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 10:43 AM   #7 (permalink)
landry fields forever

Administrator

 
Acie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Living in a van down by the river
Posts: 21,602
Representing:
Default

Recently this attractive older gal with fake boobs got up and started dancing very seductively in front of me at a gig (including putting her hand and head dangerously close to my crotch). Someone filmed it and told me it was going on youtube and facebook...I had to threaten them with death by bunga bunga.

The think I've notcied is every social event has become a photo opp for an album on facebook. People are so concerned with getting shots of themselves having fun, they forget that they're there to actually have fun.
Acie is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 10:49 AM   #8 (permalink)
hibernating

Retired Administrator
 
Benzo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 7,290
Representing:
Default

Benzo doesn't have Facebook....it is ruining society.
Benzo is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 10:55 AM   #9 (permalink)
landry fields forever

Administrator

 
Acie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Living in a van down by the river
Posts: 21,602
Representing:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Benzo View Post
Benzo doesn't have Facebook....it is ruining society.
It's a hell of a marketing tool though.
Acie is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 10:56 AM   #10 (permalink)
the fighter of the Nightman

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Cherry Bomb
 
Barracuda's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Toronto
Posts: 7,962
Representing:
Default

I read another article somewhere (I'll try to find it) that talked about how Facebook is causing an insane amount of breakups because of people using it TO cheat. I guess it's a big thing now to have "Facebook relationships", especially when you're already in a real one. The messages are usually private so your significant other can't see em, but it's a new way of internet dating without subscribing to Lavalife and the like.

I've actually known a couple people that went through this. Such stupid shit.

Damn, I gotta find that article... there was actually a couple of em.
Barracuda is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 11:00 AM   #11 (permalink)
is pounding the rock!

Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 4,312
Representing:
Default

worst is Ex's u dont even wanna see hitting u up, and having the nerve to still look good, geez dont they know the rules? You break up with me, you gain 55 pounds and go into depression and perhaps a coma.
Ugo Ferst is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 11:04 AM   #12 (permalink)
censored

Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 5,774
Representing:
Default

i have facebook, but i turn off my wall and adjusted my privacy settings.

i'm usually one not to carry a camera, so i think it's kinda cool having access to pictures. its just not that cool that everyone else has access to them as well...
dfunkie1 is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 11:06 AM   #13 (permalink)
is pounding the rock!

Byte Mii, I have Wii Fit!
 
Krazy Ivan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,967
Representing:
Default

People don't live their lives anymore... they record them for others to see... it's all about bragging rights nowadays.
Krazy Ivan is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 11:08 AM   #14 (permalink)
landry fields forever

Administrator

 
Acie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Living in a van down by the river
Posts: 21,602
Representing:
Default

No one can see my stuff unless they're my friend.

I never signed up until I absolutely had to (I was nimonated to promote the bands I'm in).

My wife's family is all over the world (as far away as Singapore) and it's been nice that they can see new photos of the baby without me having to email them to everyone.

I've had people that I did not get along with in high school or ex-girlfriends ask me to be their friend and I just hit ignore until it goes away.
Acie is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 11:08 AM   #15 (permalink)
RAPTORSBESTFORUMER

Raptors are the best
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Raptors home
Posts: 161
Representing:
Default

FACEBOOK IS AWESOME, CHRIS Bosh IS MY FRIEND WHOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. ALSO THIS GUY FOUND ME ON THERE AND SAID HE CAN PUT ON A TV SHOW. I JUST HAVE TO MEET HIM AND DO A QUICK SCENE.

THATS WHY FACEBOOK IS THE BEST CB4 IS MY FRIEND AND NOW IM GOING TO BE A TV STAR.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOO RAPTORS
RAPTORSBESTFAN is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 11:11 AM   #16 (permalink)
convinced that Raptors fans are only happy when they're unhappy.

Retired Administrator
 
Dr. J. Naismith's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Almonte
Posts: 10,249
Representing:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by RAPTORSBESTFAN View Post
FACEBOOK IS AWESOME, CHRIS Bosh IS MY FRIEND WHOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. ALSO THIS GUY FOUND ME ON THERE AND SAID HE CAN PUT ON A TV SHOW. I JUST HAVE TO MEET HIM AND DO A QUICK SCENE.

THATS WHY FACEBOOK IS THE BEST CB4 IS MY FRIEND AND NOW IM GOING TO BE A TV STAR.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOO RAPTORS
No CAPS please.
Dr. J. Naismith is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 11:12 AM   #17 (permalink)
is tired of all the Jose hating on this forum! sigh...

Senior Member
 
takman_777's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: NorthWestern Ontario
Posts: 1,804
Representing:
Default jealousy... not a concept i am familiar with...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ugo Ferst View Post
yea i guess that is true, try not dating obsessive, jealous, ridiculous women, has worked for me so far

My wife posted a pic of her and Kris Humphries eating Taco's.... i didnt freak :P now if it was Joey!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :P
i have found that "jealous" people as men can be worse than women for that, but that is not the point here... jealousy usually has it's roots in an underlying insecurity one or both of the people in the relationship feel not only in the "couple" but individually. secure, confident people have, in my opinion, deal less with jealousy than those that don't. i don't find insecurity particularly sexy, so i look for a woman, and i have one now, who believes in herself at the core of who she is. that is a sexy woman!!! she has no trouble expressing her identity in any situation. Does that mean i go and flirt outrageously with women at a bar or visit strippers and have videos made of myself getting a lap dance? NO, that is a respect issue between us. there are, however, times when i am hit on at work, and we have very open dialogue and it is not a threat to her because our communication is so easy and free... that is the bedrock of who we as a couple are... jealousy is not an issue because we choose to communicate and show respect for the relationship... we do flirt at times, but do so together with each other's knowledge... that is fun... but that is another story for another day
takman_777 is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 11:15 AM   #18 (permalink)
RAPTORSBESTFORUMER

Raptors are the best
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Raptors home
Posts: 161
Representing:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. J. Naismith View Post
No CAPS please.
SORRY

Dr.J is my dads favorite player. You and him should talk. He ALSO LIKES DUNCAN
RAPTORSBESTFAN is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 11:23 AM   #19 (permalink)
the next dictator of MLSE

fresh and clean
 
Windex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: uʍop ɹǝpun
Posts: 22,524
Representing:
Default

I have a facebook account but I check it one a week, too much stuff to check and I would be on it a couple hours a day.

I'm not going to tell people about my private life or create/break relationships on line

I'm old fashioned, I like to talk to people face to face or in a group.
Windex is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 01:08 PM   #20 (permalink)
is pounding the rock!

Bed wetting doody head
 
Kris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 1,188
Representing:
Default

Yeah I don't like Facebook. Don't have an account. Don't want an account. I can see how it would be useful - as Acie said, it's much easier to post pictures up on a site and have people come and see it rather than email pictures to everyone - but I have nothing exciting like that going on in my life, so I don't care to get an account.
Kris is offline   Boss Key Wife Key Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Attention all Facebook Users Acie News & Announcements 33 11-24-2009 12:04 PM
Mac Users Unite! dfunkie1 Entertainment Lounge 1 06-01-2008 10:05 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:19 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright RaptorsForum.com 2005-2011

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24