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-   -   Beard-off! (http://www.raptorsforum.com/f/f9/beard-off-21273.html)

Aar_Canada 11-19-2011 01:40 AM

I grew my first beard last year. I started in August, 2010, and by October, I was swimming in facial hair - and loving it. I'd always wanted a beard, going back to my teenaged years. My idol, Bobby Baker of the Tragically Hip, sported one hell o' one. My dad, the hairiest man to ever walk the face of the Earth, had a beard so large in the 1970's, it morphed into his head, neck and chest hair, creating a circle of hairy insanity.

Never in a million years did I think I'd be able to grow one. My facial hair is kinda spotty and I figured I'd come out looking like the Wolfman. I persevered and, with the encouraging words of some folks on a beard message board, stayed the course. Their advice was to give it 3 months. The patchiness gave way to fullness and I had the beginnings of a real beard. I felt more and more LIKE A MAN everytime I looked in the mirror. I started shampooing it. Time progressed and so did the hairs. When I laid my weary head down at night in bed, to try and fall asleep whilst watching some terrible Vivid porn featuring the same terrible pornstars, I'd feel it on my chest, and I'd stroke it. Yes.

I don't know what was more enjoyable - the growing and the having of the beard, or the reactions. My girlfriend told me it made her 'physically ill'. I'd get looks of fear and disgust from strangers, and I must admit, I loved being terrifying. Who would mess with a guy with a beard? NO ONE. Prior to the 80's and with the exception of the 30's, 40's and 50's, you could grow a beard and no one would think anything about it. Today, everyone has something to say about everything and beards and moustaches are OH YOO TEE-out, unless you're some ironic, hipster twat.

Most of all, I loved the fact that I was 'au naturel'. I inevitably went through a period of railing against societal expectations. Why do we shave our faces? Why do women shave their legs or their armpits? We have this hair, which grows, yet we lop it off. Why? Some say a beard makes them itch. Sure, it might in the beginning stages, but after a while, it feels like it should have been there the whole time, which really, it should have been. I mean, why don't we shave our heads too? Be gone, nasty hair!

I propose this - an RF Beard Off. Start growing a beard NOW. Don't worry about what the girlfriend or the wife (or the boyfriend or husband) might say. Just let it rip. Post photos of the progress and then of the finished product. We'll have a vote for RF Beard of the Year and the winner, well, won't win anything, but will relish in the fact that his beard is the KING OF ALL RF BEARDS!

I've started growing mine. Have you?

Bill Haverchuck 11-19-2011 02:22 AM


I remember talking to you about this last year.

I'll consider participating.

Toby 11-19-2011 05:48 AM

they get too itchy

LX 11-19-2011 07:23 AM

I just trimmed mine. It was at it's manliest ever. I can make it happen again though.

b55bgc 11-19-2011 08:52 AM

I myself am of the opposite side of the spectrum.

Sure we needed hair back when we were apes and needed to stay warm. It was part of our evolution as mammals being warm blooded. But now we have clothes and hair is not a necessity.
I dont begrudge the beard or moustache grower. I actually thank them for hours of entertainment. And a reminder of our more neanderthal hairy days.

If it were up to me, I would be nipped in Nair on a daily basis.
I wax my back and chest, shave my face every second day, keep my hair upstairs nice and trim, and keep the hair downstairs non-existent. I feel fresh clean and more aero-dynamic.

I should tell you, I am a pretty vain person, so maybe some of this hair removal is to please the opposite sex. Or just to please myself when i look in the mirror. Either way, I would never begrudge one of the hairies out there, so keep on trucking.

Shadowfax 11-19-2011 11:04 AM

i'm a fan of beards...but when i occasionally grow mine out i keep it very trimmed...kind of a "5 o'clock" special
i've worn my goatee for the last 25-30 years (been so long i can't remember :))..keep it very trimmed as well

at 52, the chin area and parts of my mustache are completely grey...so for different looks, i'll occasionally apply "Just For Men" to shake things up

every spring (motorcycle season) i go into get my hair cut really short and dyed platinum blonde...dye my goatee completely black for the occasion

Windex 11-19-2011 11:55 AM

I can't grow a big beard :sigh:

but I can partake in a mustache-off :cookie:

XiaominWu 11-19-2011 01:32 PM

I'm 3 weeks in.

Nites 11-19-2011 02:37 PM

I have to keep a beard or else I look too young. I've kept a beard for the last 3-4 years.

Barracuda 11-19-2011 03:41 PM

...I don't wanna!

fancylad 11-19-2011 11:22 PM

there's a funny kids in the hall skit where Kevin McDonald gets overtaken by his beard.

Bill Haverchuck 11-20-2011 12:08 AM


Originally Posted by fancylad (Post 580184)
there's a funny kids in the hall skit where Kevin McDonald gets overtaken by his beard.

MrClutch 11-20-2011 02:44 PM

Ive got a mini beard myself, hasnt fully developed yet so ill probably take it off once 2011 ends

Stonezz 11-20-2011 02:50 PM

My facial hair sucks, can't grow a full beard

MrClutch 11-21-2011 09:16 AM


Originally Posted by Stonezz (Post 580217)
My facial hair sucks, can't grow a full beard

Same the lining seems to be there but it wont grow into a full beard for come reason

Renihan_00 11-21-2011 04:18 PM

I'd be down but not for a while...I've got a serious mustache going on right now and I don't know if I can handle another facial hair competition in the near future haha

INSIDER 11-21-2011 04:49 PM

it made your girlfriend "physically ill"?
which means you didnt have sex for 3+ months, im assuming?

not me, i like sex too much to try this.

box92 11-22-2011 01:24 AM

I cant grow one that well lol

Aar_Canada 11-25-2011 01:34 PM


Originally Posted by INSIDER (Post 580308)
it made your girlfriend "physically ill"?
which means you didnt have sex for 3+ months, im assuming?

not me, i like sex too much to try this.

No beard can taint the allure of CAPTAIN BIG DONG.

Aar_Canada 11-25-2011 01:36 PM

Anyway, there aren't enough REAL MEN on this board, so the competition has been cancelled.


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