This Onion - Bosh out for season
Old 03-12-2010, 11:57 AM   #1 (permalink)
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This sounds serious!

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TORONTO—The Raptors medical staff announced Tuesday that Chris Bosh will miss the rest of the season after the inquisitive forward cut open his knee with a steak knife in an effort to look inside and see how the joint works. "There's a lot more stuff in there than I thought," said Bosh, who after finishing the surgery attempted to stop the bleeding by wrapping an entire roll of toilet paper around his knee. "It probably needs all those meaty-looking ropes so it can bend. And look in this pickle jar—I kind of had to use some pressure to get it started turning, but I had no idea that I could unscrew my kneecap. Pretty cool, huh?" While recovering from the significant ligament and cartilage damage, Bosh said he plans to undergo a procedure to detect early signs of colorectal cancer by shoving a digital camera up his ass.
Chris Bosh Out For Season After Cutting Open Knee To See How It Works | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
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Old 03-12-2010, 12:01 PM   #2 (permalink)
waiting..

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the first sentence was like WHAT and the i was like you gotte be kidding me you cant seriously put this on the net..
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Old 03-12-2010, 12:02 PM   #3 (permalink)
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this is probably gonna be on hoopshype in like 10 minutes
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Old 03-12-2010, 12:21 PM   #4 (permalink)
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this is probably gonna be on hoopshype in like 10 minutes
or on RealGM in 5 mins
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Old 03-12-2010, 12:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
blah!

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i love the onion.
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Old 03-12-2010, 12:48 PM   #6 (permalink)
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meaty looking ropes, guess you need those lol
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Old 03-12-2010, 12:48 PM   #7 (permalink)
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one of my onion faves is still the article about shaq missing the 2nd half of a game due to a pulled pork sandwich.
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Old 03-12-2010, 12:49 PM   #8 (permalink)
lol

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is the onion run by chuck swirsky?
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Old 03-12-2010, 12:54 PM   #9 (permalink)
adoring his baby girl.

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This is dumb...mods please move to the lounge where it (gulp) belongs.
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Old 03-12-2010, 12:58 PM   #10 (permalink)
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This is dumb...mods please move to the lounge where it (gulp) belongs.
stupid thread
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Old 03-12-2010, 01:10 PM   #11 (permalink)
blah!

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I personally could use the laugh when everything else is doom and gloom.
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Old 03-12-2010, 01:16 PM   #12 (permalink)
-_-

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I personally could use the laugh when everything else is doom and gloom.
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Old 03-12-2010, 01:48 PM   #13 (permalink)
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one of my onion faves is still the article about shaq missing the 2nd half of a game due to a pulled pork sandwich.
Not sure whether or not you've seen this one before 'trane. It's my all time favorite article from the Onion. It's an oldie but a goodie.

Phish Collapses Onstage | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
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Old 03-12-2010, 01:53 PM   #14 (permalink)
adoring his baby girl.

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I personally could use the laugh when everything else is doom and gloom.
Can't you laugh in the lounge?
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Old 03-12-2010, 01:54 PM   #15 (permalink)
I believe in Masai!

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Originally Posted by gdaytday View Post
Not sure whether or not you've seen this one before 'trane. It's my all time favorite article from the Onion. It's an oldie but a goodie.

Phish Collapses Onstage | The Onion - America's Finest News Source


yeah i've seen that one before. awesome. love the 40 minute yem joke and the contact reference at the end.

and ain't that the truth...
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Old 03-12-2010, 03:19 PM   #16 (permalink)
si sugob.

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The best Onion bit:

Marilyn Manson Now Going Door-To-Door Trying To Shock People | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
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