I finally figured out why I'm not married yet lol... - Page 8
Old 11-26-2008, 12:01 PM   #141 (permalink)
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Even though Im not a big fan of Christmas, its absolutely not the same thing.
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Old 11-26-2008, 12:19 PM   #142 (permalink)
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wow. you guys are really cynical about this. get married or don't, it's up to you, but i don't understand the vehement opposition to the concept.
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Old 11-26-2008, 12:24 PM   #143 (permalink)
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I'm with 'trane.

And it totally is about the "celebration" aspect of it. Before divorce was a common thing, marriage was how people showed their significant other that they were in it for life, no matter what.

It's not for everyone. Aar, if you're in a wonderful long term relationship and are happy the way things are, more power to ya. Saves the stress and cost of a wedding
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Old 11-26-2008, 12:38 PM   #144 (permalink)
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i'm not against marriage at all.
i actually come from a home with 2 loving parents who are still together and hang out all the time. which is rare nowadays.
i love the idea of marriage.
but its not for everyone. it should be a personal decision, and no one should be forced or coerced into marrying another - just to make the other person happy.
society has made marriage the be all and and all of the relationship. why does it have to be this way?

you can be in love with your partner and be the happiest couple in the universe, but if you're not married; its not right, and its not a true relationship??? thats BS in my opinion.
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Old 11-26-2008, 01:18 PM   #145 (permalink)
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you can be in love with your partner and be the happiest couple in the universe, but if you're not married; its not right, and its not a true relationship??? thats BS in my opinion.
who is saying this?
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Old 11-26-2008, 01:29 PM   #146 (permalink)
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who is saying this?
Lots of people.
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Old 11-26-2008, 01:34 PM   #147 (permalink)
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setting aside religious groups and our gradparents generation, do you really experience this as a common sentiment? i don't at all. i find more often that i have to justify why i got married, not why we lived common law for 9 years. take this thread as an example...
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Old 11-26-2008, 01:35 PM   #148 (permalink)
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I got married last October ... I'm ridiculously happy! We aren't planning on having any kids for a few more years though.

ACIE! Congratulations, dude! I didn't know that you got married last month! How's your wife doing with her pregnancy? Only a few more months ... Please have your baby at Sunnybrook so that I can visit!!
35 Weeks.

The countdown is on. Poor girl, she looks like she's swallowed a beachball.

Unfortunately, Sunnybrook is a little far from St.Catharines.
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Old 11-26-2008, 02:02 PM   #149 (permalink)
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wow. you guys are really cynical about this. get married or don't, it's up to you, but i don't understand the vehement opposition to the concept.
It's not so much an opposition, it's not seeing the point.

The white dress as a sign of purity, the man proposing, the expensive ring, the groom as an afterthought, giving a woman one special day before she's confined to the kitchen "where she belongs". I'm not saying that any of you married folks bought into any of that, but that backwards, religious, fear-mongering, controlling era is where the whole ridiculous tradition comes from.

As someone who thinks religion in any form should be abolished from our planet and minds, the clinging on to pieces of some old fairytale, kinda drives me up the wall. Why can't we grow up and grow out of the need to pander to silly, imaginary forces above and all they require us to do in order to make things 'right' and 'honest'? Maybe the exhiliration people feel after they marry, has more to do with the fact they feel they've done their part in keeping the devil at bay. I mean, there are people out there who wouldn't fathom the idea of *gasp* having a child out of wedlock. Why?

Why not just have a party to celebrate the love you have for one another? I think that would be sweet. I mean, isn't that what a wedding is? Why the need for all the other malarkey?
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Old 11-26-2008, 02:03 PM   #150 (permalink)
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35 Weeks.

The countdown is on. Poor girl, she looks like she's swallowed a beachball.

Unfortunately, Sunnybrook is a little far from St.Catharines.
Woo! Have you purchased any Raptor paraphenalia yet? Get crackin'.
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Old 11-26-2008, 02:18 PM   #151 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Aar_Canada View Post
It's not so much an opposition, it's not seeing the point.

The white dress as a sign of purity, the man proposing, the expensive ring, the groom as an afterthought, giving a woman one special day before she's confined to the kitchen "where she belongs". I'm not saying that any of you married folks bought into any of that, but that backwards, religious, fear-mongering, controlling era is where the whole ridiculous tradition comes from.

As someone who thinks religion in any form should be abolished from our planet and minds, the clinging on to pieces of some old fairytale, kinda drives me up the wall. Why can't we grow up and grow out of the need to pander to silly, imaginary forces above and all they require us to do in order to make things 'right' and 'honest'? Maybe the exhiliration people feel after they marry, has more to do with the fact they feel they've done their part in keeping the devil at bay. I mean, there are people out there who wouldn't fathom the idea of *gasp* having a child out of wedlock. Why?

Why not just have a party to celebrate the love you have for one another? I think that would be sweet. I mean, isn't that what a wedding is? Why the need for all the other malarkey?
I think that you ARE being more than a little cynical Aar....

Yes, there are men and women who have very "dated" opinions on marriage and what it should be like and how it should go down.... but that doesn't mean that EVERYONE feels this way. Ditto for religion. You're going to find good apples and bad apples in every group.

And I'm feeling more than a little bit weird writing this right now considering the way that I started this thread lol... wow... I had no idea that it would be closing in on 10 pages.

Looks like I haven't lost my touch for stirring the shite.
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Old 11-26-2008, 02:23 PM   #152 (permalink)
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I think that you ARE being more than a little cynical Aar....

Yes, there are men and women who have very "dated" opinions on marriage and what it should be like and how it should go down.... but that doesn't mean that EVERYONE feels this way. Ditto for religion. You're going to find good apples and bad apples in every group.
And I'm feeling more than a little bit weird writing this right now considering the way that I started this thread lol... wow... I had no idea that it would be closing in on 10 pages.

Looks like I haven't lost my touch for stirring the shite.
Religion itself is the bad apple.
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Old 11-26-2008, 02:58 PM   #153 (permalink)
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Religion itself is the bad apple.
This can open up another 278362 pages....

Religion, like many things, can be used for good or for ill.

You may as well say that cars should be abolished because they pollute the environment and kill people by the thousands every year.
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Old 11-26-2008, 03:12 PM   #154 (permalink)
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hey ToRap.
i'm gonna hook you up with a co-worker of mine.
i'm being serious.
you live in TO right?

she's cute... i actually made out with her at an after work thing when we were hammered. hahaha.
but dont let that fool you, she's a really sweet girl, and she's had bad luck with her past relationships.
i am being totally serious here man.
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Old 11-26-2008, 03:18 PM   #155 (permalink)
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Good Lord.

Now I have Insider offering me his sloppy seconds.... someone kill me now and close this thread. lol.

You're heart's in the right place buddy but that's never been my style lol.
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Old 11-26-2008, 03:18 PM   #156 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by INSIDER View Post
hey ToRap.
i'm gonna hook you up with a co-worker of mine.
i'm being serious.
you live in TO right?

she's cute... i actually made out with her at an after work thing when we were hammered. hahaha.
but dont let that fool you, she's a really sweet girl, and she's had bad luck with her past relationships.
i am being totally serious here man.
Is she on your FB page INSIDER, because I'd like to confirm this before you hook up TO. Based on our conversations as of late I'm starting to question your judgement.
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Old 11-26-2008, 03:19 PM   #157 (permalink)
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If anyone should hook TO up with someone, it's me.

That is, if I knew a worthy enough chick.

I just might.
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Old 11-26-2008, 03:21 PM   #158 (permalink)
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I used to be quite cynical about getting married. like aar i came from a broken (and violent) home growing up so there was a lot of memories of bad times and fear. it wasn't about repeating the cycle but being afraid of being responsible for my feelings when I knew I had a lot of fucked up feelings about relationships in general. that and all i knew was how to be in control.

then i met this person. it was difficult waiting for her to align herself with me, but after a year she did, and the hardest thing was living together. we ran off to guatemala to visit with some friends. we got into talking about marriage a bit before our trip. one of my friends there knew a mayan priest, and thought that if we wanted to commemorate our love and alignment, their way fit best with who we were.
so we celebrated this on the shores of lake atitlan, sacred to the mayan people, surrounded by volcanoes, and strangers who felt like friends. the ceremony lasted about twenty minutes. we didn't really understand what was going on half the time because the priest only spoke qui'che. with one translator going from qui'che to spanish, and another going from spanish to english, long speeches and declarations and prayers became single sentences.
but there was a point in the ceremony, when she (the priest) was asking the spirit of the place to consent to our bond. the wind died down, and we all looked at each other. the place was deliberating. the priest looked at us and then looked above our heads. there were two parrots watching the whole thing above our heads. then suddenly, they leapt off the branch, and flew down above my wife's and my head, hovering there for what felt like forever. then they shot out across the water, flying over each other, like they were tying some neverending knot.

when things got difficult for us in the early years and months, we always remembered that moment, and that something far older and deeper than us knew something we did not know yet. and that I soon realized that love is about participating in that deeper, older feeling of being alive in this place and how wonderful and uncertain it all is. it pains me to read articles and stories of people who think love doesn't exist. truth is, there isn't any word in this language that can describe how i feel about my wife. love comes close, but never close enough.

once you've emptied out the expectations, you're left with what, possibility, endless fucking possibility...becoming...in the end it's all transitory, all amazing.
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Old 11-26-2008, 03:21 PM   #159 (permalink)
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If anyone should hook TO up with someone, it's me.

That is, if I knew a worthy enough chick.

I just might.
Don't tell'em about the virgin thing 'Cuda .... chicks might fear him then.
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Old 11-26-2008, 03:22 PM   #160 (permalink)
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This can open up another 278362 pages....

Religion, like many things, can be used for good or for ill.

You may as well say that cars should be abolished because they pollute the environment and kill people by the thousands every year.
What good?
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