I finally figured out why I'm not married yet lol... - Page 7
Old 11-25-2008, 05:35 PM   #121 (permalink)
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You sly dog! Way to go, brutha!!!

Are you gonna tell her about your 3rd testicle now????

No, but I figured it's about time I told her I was gay.



BTW thanks guys.
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Old 11-25-2008, 05:39 PM   #122 (permalink)
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No, but I figured it's about time I told her I was gay.
Um, yeah..... I'm pretty sure she knows about that.
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Old 11-25-2008, 05:40 PM   #123 (permalink)
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Congrats Acie!

Ok, so if most of you are single or in a relationship... How many of you think you'll ge tmarried? Or even WANT to?

Honestly.
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Old 11-25-2008, 06:24 PM   #124 (permalink)
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*crickets*
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Old 11-25-2008, 06:37 PM   #125 (permalink)
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Ha! Nuff said.
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Old 11-25-2008, 07:04 PM   #126 (permalink)
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Marriage was something I never, ever considered and in fact I was vehemently opposed to it.

I used to blab on and on about it being an outdated tribal ritual that had no place in modern society...

When we found out my wife was pregnant I kind of got the vibe that it was important to her that we be married before the baby was born even though she didn't pressure me or even really bring it up (probably because she knew how I felt about it). So despite that it was not my thing I did it because making her happy was the most important thing to me and now of course I'm glad we did.
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Old 11-25-2008, 07:14 PM   #127 (permalink)
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I thought it was an interesting article cause I remember back in my dating years there was this guy we knew who had unbelievably beautiful girlfriends while he was just so-so looking and he wasn't rich or anything. I always wondered how he'd get them because he treated them worse than dirt, shouting at them in public and so on, so I guess some girls like the 'bad boy' types.

I tried something like this once when I went out with this girl who I couldn't get to first base with on the first date and who acted all high and mighty so I was like, Pfft, forget you and I never called her again. For the next 3 weeks she kept calling my house and I told my brother to "just take a message" whenever she called. She also dropped by my house a few times and my brother told her I wasn't there. Anyway, one day she did catch me entering my house so I let her in and there was no fuss in getting what I wanted right away. I did kind of feel guilty after this as I've always thought of myself as a gentleman so I never tried doing this again. But anyway, I don't think this would work on a majority of women out there anyway.
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Old 11-25-2008, 07:17 PM   #128 (permalink)
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Are most people on this board married?
I got married last October ... I'm ridiculously happy! We aren't planning on having any kids for a few more years though.

ACIE! Congratulations, dude! I didn't know that you got married last month! How's your wife doing with her pregnancy? Only a few more months ... Please have your baby at Sunnybrook so that I can visit!!
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Old 11-25-2008, 08:20 PM   #129 (permalink)
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Congrats Acie!

Ok, so if most of you are single or in a relationship... How many of you think you'll ge tmarried? Or even WANT to?

Honestly.
If the chap is right, I can see myself getting married some day. It's just not a priority for me, personally. Education, travel, job, marriage, kids in that order.
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Old 11-26-2008, 01:47 AM   #130 (permalink)
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married for 2 years, but my wife and i have been together for 11. we met at the end of our undergraduate degrees at ubc, she from the west coast, me from to. we went traveling together for a while and then moved back to our respective coasts. after about 8 months she got into law school at osgoode and moved here, despite ubc being her first choice. not sure if i would have made that same sacrifice at the time... grateful i didn't have to make that choice... we've been living here ever since.

we never rushed anything, clearly. it was 8 years before i proposed, and in that time we lived together, traveled together, went through deaths in the family, university degrees, the start of our careers... neither of us cared to much about marriage, but after all that time and all those experiences i just couldn't imagine not spending the rest of my life with her. as cheesy as that is, that's what it s all about. for me, marriage is about that commitment, that compulsion to spend every bit of your time and your conscience with that particular person. if you rush into it, i'm not sure you can know a person in enough depth for that bond to occur. maybe i'm wrong, what do i know? i'm just happy this is the way it worked for us.
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Old 11-26-2008, 01:57 AM   #131 (permalink)
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Old 11-26-2008, 02:12 AM   #132 (permalink)
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I've made it a point in my life not to get married. I came from a broken home and I'm an agnostic, so marriage to me is pointless. For the most part, my girlfriend feels the same way, but after the birth of our son a year ago, has kind of changed her tune, although she still has a hard time figuring out the point besides her desire for all three of us having the same last name. So, lately we've engaged in a few passionate debates which end with me telling her to go to city hall for a name change.

What is marriage if you're not a religious person? Why the need for a contract? When people bug me about 'doing the right thing' it makes my decision that much easier. Those same people ask, "Is it worth being so against it?", but it's not about that. I don't burn a lot of energy being against it and I'm proud of myself and my family for being who we are. Fortunately, we've never heard a peep from either of our immediate families about the issue and I love the fact some people might think what we're doing is wrong. Screw them.

I mean, people who are in a long term, committed relationship but talk about 'settling down' by marrying, aren't they already settled down? Before they get married, are they screwing around all over town with other people? I don't get it.
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Old 11-26-2008, 02:30 AM   #133 (permalink)
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you're right aar, but for me it was about formalizing that commitment. its not religious or civic, it was an important moment for my wife and i, and we wanted to share that with friends and family. hell, we got married in cuba, and the vows were pretty much a legal contract about equal opportunity and responsibility... it was the most a-religious ceremony i've ever experienced. perfect for us. we're actually not even registered in canada, although we could be if we bothered. the marriage was between us, not us and the state or us and the church.

also, i didn't see it as a promise to fidelity, although that's always been a part of our relationship. it's more like an opportunity to make public declarations to my wife about our commitment to take this journey together. i suppose that's something that many people could do without, but it turned out to be a lot more important to me than i ever imagined it would.
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Old 11-26-2008, 09:40 AM   #134 (permalink)
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you're right aar, but for me it was about formalizing that commitment. its not religious or civic, it was an important moment for my wife and i, and we wanted to share that with friends and family. hell, we got married in cuba, and the vows were pretty much a legal contract about equal opportunity and responsibility... it was the most a-religious ceremony i've ever experienced. perfect for us. we're actually not even registered in canada, although we could be if we bothered. the marriage was between us, not us and the state or us and the church.

also, i didn't see it as a promise to fidelity, although that's always been a part of our relationship. it's more like an opportunity to make public declarations to my wife about our commitment to take this journey together. i suppose that's something that many people could do without, but it turned out to be a lot more important to me than i ever imagined it would.
I love what you've said here.
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Old 11-26-2008, 09:57 AM   #135 (permalink)
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you're right aar, but for me it was about formalizing that commitment. its not religious or civic, it was an important moment for my wife and i, and we wanted to share that with friends and family. hell, we got married in cuba, and the vows were pretty much a legal contract about equal opportunity and responsibility... it was the most a-religious ceremony i've ever experienced. perfect for us. we're actually not even registered in canada, although we could be if we bothered. the marriage was between us, not us and the state or us and the church.

also, i didn't see it as a promise to fidelity, although that's always been a part of our relationship. it's more like an opportunity to make public declarations to my wife about our commitment to take this journey together. i suppose that's something that many people could do without, but it turned out to be a lot more important to me than i ever imagined it would.
I understand all of that and it's all good and wonderful (and I'm not being sarcastic), but where does that need to make a public declaration come from? This is what I don't get. What difference does other people witnessing said declaration make? Formalizing a commitment has everything to do with other people and nothing to do with you and the love you have for your wife.

My belief is that those sorts of things - public declarations with the intent to legitimize - are the last remaining remnants of what marriage was to begin with (which was inherently ridiculous), and as time moves forward, we're slowly realizing that none of it applies anymore. All we're left with are these pointless traditions that are hard-wired into our brains.
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Old 11-26-2008, 12:04 PM   #136 (permalink)
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married for 2 years, but my wife and i have been together for 11. we met at the end of our undergraduate degrees at ubc, she from the west coast, me from to. we went traveling together for a while and then moved back to our respective coasts. after about 8 months she got into law school at osgoode and moved here, despite ubc being her first choice. not sure if i would have made that same sacrifice at the time... grateful i didn't have to make that choice... we've been living here ever since.

we never rushed anything, clearly. it was 8 years before i proposed, and in that time we lived together, traveled together, went through deaths in the family, university degrees, the start of our careers... neither of us cared to much about marriage, but after all that time and all those experiences i just couldn't imagine not spending the rest of my life with her. as cheesy as that is, that's what it s all about. for me, marriage is about that commitment, that compulsion to spend every bit of your time and your conscience with that particular person. if you rush into it, i'm not sure you can know a person in enough depth for that bond to occur. maybe i'm wrong, what do i know? i'm just happy this is the way it worked for us.
Great stuff 'trane.... I envy you.
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Old 11-26-2008, 12:12 PM   #137 (permalink)
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perhaps aar, but it felt great to get up and say it. we had a week long party with a bunch of friends and family, and it was a celebration of our union. with my wife's family in bc and mine here it was a great chance to get the famillies together, to be happy, to celebrate and to live the experience as a group. the bond is between my wife and i, of that there is no doubt, but the marriage ceremony was a chance to share that with the people we love. that didn't seem pointless at all.

i think two things are being confused here - on one had, a lifelong partnership, and on the other a ceremony to celebrate that. the partnership is between my wife and i, forged over more than a decade. the ceremony was our way of sharing that publicly. neither seemed important at the start of our relationship, but in the end both were.

i suppose that family is hugely important to me. if my wife and i were the only two people in each other's lives this would never have happened this way. the reality, though, is that we are part of larger families, and families provide reasons to celebrate and to share. i'm all for increased positivity, and nothing gets families happy and joyous like weddings (expcept perhaps grandkids...)

to each his own, no doubt, but i've truly never been happier.
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Old 11-26-2008, 12:14 PM   #138 (permalink)
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My belief is that those sorts of things - public declarations with the intent to legitimize - are the last remaining remnants of what marriage was to begin with (which was inherently ridiculous), and as time moves forward, we're slowly realizing that none of it applies anymore. All we're left with are these pointless traditions that are hard-wired into our brains.
thats the truth right there.
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Old 11-26-2008, 12:45 PM   #139 (permalink)
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I've made it a point in my life not to get married. I came from a broken home and I'm an agnostic, so marriage to me is pointless. For the most part, my girlfriend feels the same way, but after the birth of our son a year ago, has kind of changed her tune, although she still has a hard time figuring out the point besides her desire for all three of us having the same last name. So, lately we've engaged in a few passionate debates which end with me telling her to go to city hall for a name change.

What is marriage if you're not a religious person? Why the need for a contract? When people bug me about 'doing the right thing' it makes my decision that much easier. Those same people ask, "Is it worth being so against it?", but it's not about that. I don't burn a lot of energy being against it and I'm proud of myself and my family for being who we are. Fortunately, we've never heard a peep from either of our immediate families about the issue and I love the fact some people might think what we're doing is wrong. Screw them.

I mean, people who are in a long term, committed relationship but talk about 'settling down' by marrying, aren't they already settled down? Before they get married, are they screwing around all over town with other people? I don't get it.
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Old 11-26-2008, 12:46 PM   #140 (permalink)
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Christmas, Birthdays etc are "pointless traditions hardwired into our brains" as well...does that make you not want to celebrate?
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