I finally figured out why I'm not married yet lol... - Page 10
Old 11-26-2008, 05:31 PM   #181 (permalink)
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You said it was about love.
it is. it can be about many things aar. the commitment and the bond is about love. all i'm saying is that on a practical level the contract doesn't hurt. you're trying to reduce this to points that are way too simple. love is complex, and marriage has many, many possibilities. mine is one example that doesn't seem to fit your definition. i'm just trying to point out that there's more to it than you seem to be allowing for.
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Old 11-26-2008, 05:52 PM   #182 (permalink)
landry fields forever

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I'm curious to hear what Aar has to say about my marriage/wedding, especially since he was my best man.
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Old 11-26-2008, 05:59 PM   #183 (permalink)
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malarkey?

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Old 11-26-2008, 06:03 PM   #184 (permalink)
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I'm curious to hear what Aar has to say about my marriage/wedding, especially since he was my best man.
he was there to hit on the bridesmaid's!
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Old 11-26-2008, 06:04 PM   #185 (permalink)
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Right. And people do good things without any guidance from religion. The 'common good' is inherent in humans, regardless (and in spite) of religion. Which proves that it's not needed for people to do good. So, what are we left with? We're left with the wars it creates and the people it kills, discriminates against, dominates, controls and shames.
Wha? Because atrocities and war don't happen otherwise? Really?

You may THINK that people are inherently good but it all depends on how you were socialized.
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Old 11-26-2008, 06:14 PM   #186 (permalink)
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35 Weeks.

The countdown is on. Poor girl, she looks like she's swallowed a beachball.

Unfortunately, Sunnybrook is a little far from St.Catharines.
Crap. Stupid, stupid St. Catherines!

I hope she's feeling alright though, Acie.
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Old 11-26-2008, 06:21 PM   #187 (permalink)
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he was there to hit on the bridesmaid's!
No, that was my dad.
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Old 11-26-2008, 07:39 PM   #188 (permalink)
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Interesting subject.

Ya'll let me know when you have er' figured out.

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Old 11-26-2008, 07:45 PM   #189 (permalink)
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The relatively few times I went out and was completely oblivious to "the game", when I forgot it was even happening and I was just enjoying the moment, were the times I actually had success with women.

Now when friends in university would say "let's go out, and pick up chicks, yada yada". I was hopeless. I couldn't handle the pressure, and it felt so unnatural.

The scene I excelled in was the small pub/club where the music was playing to loud to hear a name, and an attraction combined with booze would lead to dancing and eventually nasty in-bar kissing, and the rare time it would lead to sex.

Most my relationships start this way, including my current one (without the nasty in-bar kissing, that stopped at 23). She hadn't had any sexual encounters for over a year, but something compelled her to grab on to me that night. We made out in my car, then she took me home, and wouldn't let me go.
Over time that comfort and lust, has turned into love.
I think Einstein said something like, to prove love exists, all you have to do is put two people together, and watch them fall in love.

I also don't spend anything on girls, unless they are special. I don't attract the women that want money spent on them. I have nothing in common with those women or that shallow lifestyle. I try to talk to those types of women sometimes, but their is nothing there. I leave those for the meatheads. They're made for eachother.
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Old 11-26-2008, 08:09 PM   #190 (permalink)
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No, that was my dad.
old men are awesome!
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Old 11-26-2008, 09:18 PM   #191 (permalink)
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old men are awesome!
I know! Why do you think we all love Doc so much?
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Old 11-26-2008, 09:27 PM   #192 (permalink)
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Seriously it was super-small wedding. There were only about 40 people only and one bridesmaid who was my wife's sister. The first thing my dad says when I ask him what he thinks of the whole day is, "is her sister wearing any underwear underneath that dress?" and "oh bud, what a body she's got on her".
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Old 11-26-2008, 09:28 PM   #193 (permalink)
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Seriously it was super-small wedding. There were only about 40 people only and one bridesmaid who was my wife's sister. The first thing my dad says when I ask him what he thinks of the whole day is, "is her sister wearing any underwear underneath that dress?" and "oh bud, what a body she's got on her".
i like your dad!
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Old 11-26-2008, 09:35 PM   #194 (permalink)
is pounding the rock!

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I'm curious to hear what Aar has to say about my marriage/wedding, especially since he was my best man.
Your marriage/wedding was wonderful, Nancy. And it's exactly what you said - it was important for various reasons. I was elated for you guys because I know how much you mean to each other, but I feel the same way when I see you two at the Duck. I even thought the ceremony was great, as evidenced by the stupid grin I wore as I sweated by ballsack off from nervousness up at the front of the church. I just don't like the God business.
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Old 11-26-2008, 09:39 PM   #195 (permalink)
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I know! Why do you think we all love Doc so much?
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Old 11-26-2008, 10:44 PM   #196 (permalink)
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Your marriage/wedding was wonderful, Nancy. And it's exactly what you said - it was important for various reasons. I was elated for you guys because I know how much you mean to each other, but I feel the same way when I see you two at the Duck. I even thought the ceremony was great, as evidenced by the stupid grin I wore as I sweated by ballsack off from nervousness up at the front of the church. I just don't like the God business.
I was just being facetious Sally.

FWIW and you know this, I don't like the God business either and to the best of my recollection there wasn't any really other than it being in a church.
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Old 11-26-2008, 11:31 PM   #197 (permalink)
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I was just being facetious Sally.

FWIW and you know this, I don't like the God business either and to the best of my recollection there wasn't any really other than it being in a church.
I know. It was nice.
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Old 02-11-2009, 07:20 PM   #198 (permalink)
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I used to be quite cynical about getting married. like aar i came from a broken (and violent) home growing up so there was a lot of memories of bad times and fear. it wasn't about repeating the cycle but being afraid of being responsible for my feelings when I knew I had a lot of fucked up feelings about relationships in general. that and all i knew was how to be in control.

then i met this person. it was difficult waiting for her to align herself with me, but after a year she did, and the hardest thing was living together. we ran off to guatemala to visit with some friends. we got into talking about marriage a bit before our trip. one of my friends there knew a mayan priest, and thought that if we wanted to commemorate our love and alignment, their way fit best with who we were.
so we celebrated this on the shores of lake atitlan, sacred to the mayan people, surrounded by volcanoes, and strangers who felt like friends. the ceremony lasted about twenty minutes. we didn't really understand what was going on half the time because the priest only spoke qui'che. with one translator going from qui'che to spanish, and another going from spanish to english, long speeches and declarations and prayers became single sentences.
but there was a point in the ceremony, when she (the priest) was asking the spirit of the place to consent to our bond. the wind died down, and we all looked at each other. the place was deliberating. the priest looked at us and then looked above our heads. there were two parrots watching the whole thing above our heads. then suddenly, they leapt off the branch, and flew down above my wife's and my head, hovering there for what felt like forever. then they shot out across the water, flying over each other, like they were tying some neverending knot.

when things got difficult for us in the early years and months, we always remembered that moment, and that something far older and deeper than us knew something we did not know yet. and that I soon realized that love is about participating in that deeper, older feeling of being alive in this place and how wonderful and uncertain it all is. it pains me to read articles and stories of people who think love doesn't exist. truth is, there isn't any word in this language that can describe how i feel about my wife. love comes close, but never close enough.

once you've emptied out the expectations, you're left with what, possibility, endless fucking possibility...becoming...in the end it's all transitory, all amazing.
beautiful! is it weird that this brought tears to my eyes??? this and one of baracuda's earlier posts. ohh well, i wish i could use valentines day being soon as my excuse for getting sappy reading all your posts but vday is not any wear near around what you guys are talking about in here. so ill just conclude with im a sap
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Old 02-11-2009, 08:56 PM   #199 (permalink)
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Aw, I remember this discussion. I really enjoyed it. Lots of different views.

That, and SJ never read any of the stuff I wrote about him so I didn't have to argue with him
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Old 02-12-2009, 04:44 AM   #200 (permalink)
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missed this thread the first time around....

in response to the article, i recently just re-joined the dating scene again as of december and have been on a few dates since. while i don't like to be grouped with people referred to as acronyms and world of warcraft players, i can somewhat agree with what's being said in regards to in scene women. at least the ones i've met over the past couple of months.

there seems to be an underlying shallowness where dating isn't about relationships anymore, but public appearance and morning gossip. the whole 'sex in the city' persona. i, for one, cannot stomach it. first dates should be cute and uncomfortable, not interviews to see if you fit the required standard to fill that person's need. so impersonal.

as far as scripts go - i bet everyone has them, especially every dude who has seen goodfellas

here's an example of my frustrations

a few dates ago - i went to the lieutenant's pump (doc probably knows the place) - her choice. when i arrive, the place is so full that there's no seats available so we have to take a place by the bar.

i didn't run a tab with the bar since we didn't have seats, so i went to the bar to grab drinks all night. by all night, i mean from seven until close i was going to bar and grabbing us drinks. i felt like a complete fool, and not once did she offer to buy. i'd come back from the bathroom and she'd be waiting with an empty drink. who does that?

i fully understand the concept of the man paying on the first date, but that usually entitles dinner, dessert or popcorn. not near $200 on booze. i dont know, maybe i'm not used to this type of dating. i worked in the service industry for plenty of years beforehand, and even dating then wasn't so frustrating. you'd go to a comfy spot and have a few pints, eats or coffee. not to a crowded bar where you can be seen by your friends.

not my cup of tea

i'll take the advice given to TO and let it happen.

the dating scene is balls and i wouldn't wish it on any of you

btw

i'm 29 - you young kids have fun with it
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