Ashley Madison - Page 10
Old 12-18-2009, 03:55 PM   #181 (permalink)
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Tak - you've been really open with us here, which I really respect. Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions? I'm curious.

Feel free to say no, you've just got me thinkin'.
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Old 12-18-2009, 04:07 PM   #182 (permalink)
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So what you're telling me is that if you were single and looking to dabble with online dating site you'd be just as likely to use AM as you would LL or POF??

I don't believe that for a second.

People continually try to assert that we're nothing but "animals" as some sort of justification for deplorable behaviour.... when the truth is that we're NOT.

We DON'T operate solely on instinct.

We HAVE the ability to reason and resist urges.

If that weren't the case you'd be taking a dump at your desk every day rather than going to the bathroom.
IF i were looking again, i would not limit myself to one or two sites... perhaps the difference is that the people on AM are honest enough to state they want sex and not play mind games like the other sites do!

choice is a fact of life and not all act on every impulse, i do agree with that, but i also believe that the choices we are given from a very young age greatly guide our "free will" as the other thread is asking about... we are bound by the "isms" of our parents and a society so steeped in form and ritual it can't see reality.

if we are not animals as you state, then why does it seem we are herded into various belief structures and told if we waiver from the norm we are unacceptable. that is a scary society to live in... like the global warming lie, we accept the bullshit science being propogated as fact so gov'ts can find even more ways to tax and regulate us... enough i say and yes, these issues are all related!
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Old 12-18-2009, 04:08 PM   #183 (permalink)
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Tak - you've been really open with us here, which I really respect. Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions? I'm curious.

Feel free to say no, you've just got me thinkin'.
go ahead and ask me anything you want! we are all friends here! and mostly adults ... i think, maybe gurk isn't yet, but he is close lol
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Old 12-18-2009, 04:41 PM   #184 (permalink)
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go ahead and ask me anything you want! we are all friends here! and mostly adults ... i think, maybe gurk isn't yet, but he is close lol
Don't worry 2 more years until I am 18. I can be mature though......
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Old 12-18-2009, 04:45 PM   #185 (permalink)
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maturity has little to do with the number of years spent on this planet!
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Old 12-18-2009, 04:51 PM   #186 (permalink)
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go ahead and ask me anything you want! we are all friends here! and mostly adults ... i think, maybe gurk isn't yet, but he is close lol
Ok.

So, you have an open relationship with your wife (wife, right?)... how does it make you feel when she comes home after a night with another man? Whether good or bad feelings, I'm just curious. I can't imagine it myself.

And has there ever been a time when another man made her positively giddy and happy and "lovehead"? How would THAT make you feel?

If you have nothing but good feeling about all of the above, and love your lady dearly and are living as happily as possible, then I suppose I envy that in some ways. You've found a security with yourself, and someone else, that most never will.
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Old 12-18-2009, 04:54 PM   #187 (permalink)
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maturity has little to do with the number of years spent on this planet!
haha Yea man for sure
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Old 12-18-2009, 05:00 PM   #188 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by takman_777 View Post
IF i were looking again, i would not limit myself to one or two sites... perhaps the difference is that the people on AM are honest enough to state they want sex and not play mind games like the other sites do!

choice is a fact of life and not all act on every impulse, i do agree with that, but i also believe that the choices we are given from a very young age greatly guide our "free will" as the other thread is asking about... we are bound by the "isms" of our parents and a society so steeped in form and ritual it can't see reality.

if we are not animals as you state, then why does it seem we are herded into various belief structures and told if we waiver from the norm we are unacceptable. that is a scary society to live in... like the global warming lie, we accept the bullshit science being propogated as fact so gov'ts can find even more ways to tax and regulate us... enough i say and yes, these issues are all related!
Pardon me for saying so tak, but you sound awfully cynical and pessimistic. And from a cynic like me that's saying something! lol.

Once again I think you're misconstruing what some of us are saying here.... no one has a problem with people making a choice to have an "open relationship". As 'cuda said, it wouldn't be HER choice but I'm sure that there are those out there who enjoy such an arrangment.

The issue here is the DECEIPT that's being advertised and encouraged.

There's no such thing as an "open relationship" when only 1 partner knows that's open lol.
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Old 12-18-2009, 05:11 PM   #189 (permalink)
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Ok.

So, you have an open relationship with your wife (wife, right?)... how does it make you feel when she comes home after a night with another man? Whether good or bad feelings, I'm just curious. I can't imagine it myself.

And has there ever been a time when another man made her positively giddy and happy and "lovehead"? How would THAT make you feel?

If you have nothing but good feeling about all of the above, and love your lady dearly and are living as happily as possible, then I suppose I envy that in some ways. You've found a security with yourself, and someone else, that most never will.
i appreciate the questions though i am not sure at what point i said that we have an open relationship. i think that couples who do have them must be very secure in their relationship for sure and jealousy has no place if you are honest with what is going on. we have been together for a couple of years now and the topic has been discussed, but not to the point where we are participating in that style of life. that being said, I was stating that a society that looks down on those who have that form of relationship is narrowminded at best and scary at worst. I have thought about all of those questions and i am confident that if she were to come home after a night of pleasure and discuss it with me, and we had agreed that this was a life we were choosing to live together, then I would be happy for her and would share her experience with joy.

Security in a relationship is elusive without total honesty! that is a hard thing to find, but a treasure that allows both to grow as they need to. life is about moving from somewhere you are to where you want to be. if security is all about not rocking the boat in many areas of life, then, like many, you will never really find it. IF you are willing to risk revealing what it is that makes jealousy a part of your relationship, then perhaps the security you seek is closer than you think. it has been hard fought in many ways, but the struggle is usually within ourselves to be honest with what it is we are actually feeling, then sharing it with the one who claims to love us. which is scarier? I am not sure, but that is why our culture is so profoundly bound by fear! we are afraid on many levels of being rejected. that, to me, is the real root of jealousy. i am not afraid of that in any way that i am aware of, but i am 47 and have lived a full life with lots left to enjoy.

i hope that answers the questions, if not, let me know what i missed and i will complete the task!
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