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-   -   Alimony (http://www.raptorsforum.com/f/f23/alimony-16697.html)

Cory 08-12-2010 07:14 PM

Alimony
 
As a man who is the primary bread winner (or as a woman, too), shouldn't the idea of marriage scare you now more than ever? A spouse can initiate a divorce nowadays for no specific wrong doing, just irreconcilable differences, and yet you have to pay money for years, even if they were the one who had cheated on you. Imagine that, the girl cheats on you, breaks the marriage, and you have to pay her for it! If you have a kid, she gets custody and even if she couples up with who becomes your child's step father, you still have to pay child support! Even if she was the one who cheated. Is this not insane? We live in a time of equality, where women are free to pursue careers, yet where I live, and all through Canada from what I can tell, females get this weird double standard where we play a game of pretend equality, but really she gets all these weird opportunities to exploit the shit out of her ex husband.

Even if they don't cheat and she just wants out because she's bored, it's still insane to have to pay her. Marriage used to mean something and was hard to get out of, now it seems like a tool for extortion.

Dark Knight 08-12-2010 07:45 PM

I think of ailimony, I think of Allen from Two and a Half Men. :D

Shadowfax 08-12-2010 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cory (Post 423766)
As a man who is the primary bread winner (or as a woman, too), shouldn't the idea of marriage scare you now more than ever? A spouse can initiate a divorce nowadays for no specific wrong doing, just irreconcilable differences, and yet you have to pay money for years, even if they were the one who had cheated on you. Imagine that, the girl cheats on you, breaks the marriage, and you have to pay her for it! If you have a kid, she gets custody and even if she couples up with who becomes your child's step father, you still have to pay child support! Even if she was the one who cheated. Is this not insane? We live in a time of equality, where women are free to pursue careers, yet where I live, and all through Canada from what I can tell, females get this weird double standard where we play a game of pretend equality, but really she gets all these weird opportunities to exploit the shit out of her ex husband.

Even if they don't cheat and she just wants out because she's bored, it's still insane to have to pay her. Marriage used to mean something and was hard to get out of, now it seems like a tool for extortion.

one word my friend....
prenuptials

marriage is nothing more than a life contract...treat it as such and cover your ass
and that pertains to both male and female perspectives

jeffb 08-12-2010 08:32 PM

Marriage sucks!! At least that's from where i sit. Not many people i've known that have been married (if still together) seem all that happy. Same with having kids imo. It's all great in theory and we're all told it's what we should want to do, get married...have kids, blahh, blahh, blahh.

I mean if it's for you, enjoy. I'm not saying nobody should get married. But i like my freedom too much. I have a friend at work that got married about 3-4 years ago and they just had their second child. He was so looking forward to all of it. Now he's dragging his ass to work, tired and tells me that if i don't want kids to not have any. I was over at their place a few months back and i said i had to go home and him and his wife said they envied me for going home to peace and quiet and that i see my GF only about twice a week, just as their 2 year old threw a toy at my friends face. :haha:

That's when i got the fuck outta there, with a slight headache which subsided the minute i got home to serenity. :p

I give credit to anyone that can get married, stay happy and make it work for decades. And it's becoming more and more rare to see.

PRENUP!!!

Windex 08-12-2010 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeffb (Post 423782)
Marriage sucks!! At least that's from where i sit. Not many people i've known that have been married (if still together) seem all that happy. Same with having kids imo. It's all great in theory and we're all told it's what we should want to do, get married...have kids, blahh, blahh, blahh.

I mean if it's for you, enjoy. I'm not saying nobody should get married. But i like my freedom too much. I have a friend at work that got married about 3-4 years ago and they just had their second child. He was so looking forward to all of it. Now he's dragging his ass to work, tired and tells me that if i don't want kids to not have any. I was over at their place a few months back and i said i had to go home and him and his wife said they envied me for going home to peace and quiet and that i see my GF only about twice a week as their 2 year old threw a toy at my friends face. :haha:

That's when i got the fuck outta there, with a slight headache which subsided the minute i got home to serenity. :p

I give credit to anyone that can get married, stay happy and make it work for decades. And it's becoming more and more rare to see.

PRENUP!!!

looks like life was good as a child :police:
seems like I have the perfect life. I can come and go as I please with no one to tie me down

Windex 08-12-2010 08:37 PM

and prenuptial :police:

Cory 08-12-2010 08:45 PM

Prenups are better than none, but the problem with prenups is they cannot apply to:

(a) custody of the children (this includes things such as in what religion to raise the children, their schooling, etc.)

(b) child support

(c) visitation to the children

Also, when you write prenup, for it to hold up in court it has to be prepared by attorney's serving each party, so your partner will be advised to serve her own interests (e.g., if she's having kids, then she is going to specify that she wants ailimony to compensate for the time she invested in having the infant(s)), so it is tough to escape ailmony, but a prenup does lessen the blow.

To me, the worst thing that can happen is if your wife leaves you for another man, he's the step father, but you are paying for a kid you can't have custody of, and who is getting raised by another father who is taking in money, maybe more money than you. And you can go to jail if you don't pay, so it's a little scary. A prenup cannot protect from that scenario.

My sisters new boyfriend is in that situation right now, that's why I'm thinking about it. He pays child support to a woman who cheated on him and has a new man who acts as step father, it's ridiculous.

jeffb 08-12-2010 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Windex (Post 423785)
looks like life was good as a child :police:
seems like I have the perfect life. I can come and go as I please with no one to tie me down

I had it great as a child. Only child, got spoiled, played sports non-stop. Life is never perfect, but everyone has to make their own choices and be happy. All i know is that most people that i know that have been married are either divorced, seperated or on their way to one of the two. The odds of marriages lasting long term is slim these days.

'trane 08-12-2010 08:49 PM

um, it works in reverse too. a man can initiate, and can take the woman's money if she is the primary breadwinner. it goes both ways, equally. nice try.

Cory 08-12-2010 09:02 PM

uh, read my opening post again and you'll see I made that qualification, women need to beware, too.

But women automatically get custody and child support, so they have the opportunity to break the marriage to jump ship to a different man, and then get financed by their ex for it.

jeffb 08-12-2010 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cory (Post 423802)
uh, read my opening post again and you'll see I made that qualification, women need to beware, too.

But women automatically get custody and child support, so they have the opportunity to break the marriage to jump ship to a different man, and then get financed by their ex for it.

+1

Claudius 08-12-2010 11:14 PM

Wow....so much negativity here and alot of self pity.

Cory 08-12-2010 11:32 PM

Here Claudius, here is a philosophical companion for you that you might get along with:


While us men are discussing these important "negative issues", you and hungry bear and gaze up at the sky holding hands, rejoicing at the bright colors.

Bill Haverchuck 08-13-2010 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeffb (Post 423782)
Marriage sucks!! At least that's from where i sit. Not many people i've known that have been married (if still together) seem all that happy. Same with having kids imo. It's all great in theory and we're all told it's what we should want to do, get married...have kids, blahh, blahh, blahh.

I mean if it's for you, enjoy. I'm not saying nobody should get married. But i like my freedom too much. I have a friend at work that got married about 3-4 years ago and they just had their second child. He was so looking forward to all of it. Now he's dragging his ass to work, tired and tells me that if i don't want kids to not have any. I was over at their place a few months back and i said i had to go home and him and his wife said they envied me for going home to peace and quiet and that i see my GF only about twice a week, just as their 2 year old threw a toy at my friends face. :haha:

That's when i got the fuck outta there, with a slight headache which subsided the minute i got home to serenity. :p

I give credit to anyone that can get married, stay happy and make it work for decades. And it's becoming more and more rare to see.

PRENUP!!!

Yeah, there is a bit of negativity in here...lol

But the way I see it, there's a hint of positivity in Jeff's post. People should do what works for them; they should not assume marriage and kids equals happiness. It's important to grow up and figure out what YOU really want, rather than doing what you think you're supposed to do.

Cory 08-13-2010 12:33 AM

The complaints of negativity are instances of negativity. Some valid and important points are raised here, and you guys are like gray clouds coming into this thread. I even sense self pity in Claudius's post. Good thing I enjoy irony. :dancing:

ClingRap 08-13-2010 02:03 AM

This is such a bullshit post. You're just stirring the pot with Claud with your passive aggressive youtube linkage.
And you don't know what irony is.

Claudius 08-13-2010 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cory (Post 423858)
Here Claudius, here is a philosophical companion for you that you might get along with:

YouTube - Yosemitebear Mountain Giant Double Rainbow 1-8-10

While us men are discussing these important "negative issues", you and hungry bear and gaze up at the sky holding hands, rejoicing at the bright colors.

Isn't that cute?

You think you're a man. Fantastic.

jeffb 08-13-2010 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArmChairGM (Post 423866)
Yeah, there is a bit of negativity in here...lol

But the way I see it, there's a hint of positivity in Jeff's post. People should do what works for them; they should not assume marriage and kids equals happiness. It's important to grow up and figure out what YOU really want, rather than doing what you think you're supposed to do.

Exactly! Marriage & Kids certainly isn't for everyone. Unfortunately alot of people figure that out after they get married and one of the 2 usually gets fucked royally in the end... lol

INSIDER 08-13-2010 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeffb (Post 423950)
Exactly! Marriage & Kids certainly isn't for everyone. Unfortunately alot of people figure that out after they get married and one of the 2 usually gets fucked royally in the end... lol

the exact same thing can be said for being single...
being single certainly isnt for everyone, unfortunately alot of people never find that one special person in their life, and figure that out when they are sad and lonely and die alone wishing they had family in the end.... lol.:sigh:

jeffb 08-13-2010 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by INSIDER (Post 423956)
the exact same thing can be said for being single...
being single certainly isnt for everyone, unfortunately alot of people never find that one special person in their life, and figure that out when they are sad and lonely and die alone wishing they had family in the end.... lol.:sigh:

This is true too. The fact for me is that i was engaged at 21, have lived with 3 different women and i know that at this point at least, i love my freedom. I'm in a 4yr relationship currently where we see each other twice a week and it's heaven and thankfully neither one of us wants kids. I think if anything you need to find someone who wants the same things out of life.


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