Alimony - Page 9
Old 08-14-2010, 11:17 PM   #161 (permalink)
the gat'll killya quicker, when I'm drunk off the liquor

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but I really like this explanation.
Okay, so you like "parts." Now I'm only "partly" dissapointed.
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Old 08-14-2010, 11:23 PM   #162 (permalink)
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Okay, so you like "parts." Now I'm only "partly" dissapointed.
Then I'll give you part of a high five.

I do like your avatar. I wonder what Christopher might think about that photo today, cigarette and such.
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Old 08-14-2010, 11:42 PM   #163 (permalink)
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I really don’t want you guys thinking that me posting this stuff about marriage here is some kind of strength on my part. Sure, what I am saying is true, I’m not lying to you and I’m not deluded – I am earnest. But you people probably don’t need this, you didn’t seek it. I share this to you like a father might condescendingly and insensitively try to show his kids something he personally finds impressive, important and meaningful, but his kids laugh or mock him behind his back.

The kids apparently need something else, something relevant to their less emotionally and intellectually developed state. The father might even get frustrated, and even hurt his kids unintentionally. He tries showing his kids these things because he wants a connection to them, but it’s purely selfish on his part. What he wants them to have is not necessarily what is good for them at that moment of time, it might even scare or depress them. They need smaller, softer experiences, as the truth, in the nature of it's power, can ruin a man's life, heaven forbid what it would do to a child or a woman.

Know this, I have seen too much, and the burden is great. I seek companionship, but my only meaningful way to connect with people often steals their very life force. I exist in another psychological realm channeling energies you cannot understand, energies that would kill you if you were to harness them all at once. You are too raw and innocent to draw from these energies without doing harm to yourself. Becoming spirit is a gradual, painful, processes, and I’d be wiser to hold back what it is I long to communicate to those who truly seek.

One or two of you asked personal questions about me, and I’m not going into much detail over the internet, but I ask you to listen to a song that is really relevant to my personal path and maybe it might help you understand, to see my human side.



Rake
By townes van zandt


I used to wake and run with the moon
I lived like a rake and a young man
I covered my lovers with flowers and wounds
My laughter the devil would frighten
The sun she would come and beat me back down
But every cruel day had it’s nightfall
I’d welcome the stars with wine and guitars
Full of fire and forgetful

My body was sharp the dark air clean
And outrage my joyful companion
Whisperin’ women how sweet did they seem
Kneelin’ for me to command them
And time was like water but I was the sea
I’d have never noticed it passin’
Except for the turnin’ of night into day
And the turnin’ of day into cursin’

You look at me now, and don’t think I don’t know
What all your eyes are a sayin’
Does he want us to believe these ravings and lies
They’re just tricks that his brains been a playin’?
A lover of women he can’t hardly stand
He trembles he’s bent and he’s broken
I’ve fallen it’s true but I say unto you
Hold your tongues until after I’ve spoken

I was takin’ my pride in the pleasures I’d known
I laughed and thought I’d be forgiven
But my laughter turned ’round eyes blazing and
Said my friend, we’re holdin’ a wedding
I buried my face but it spoke once again
The night to the day we’re a bindin’
And now the dark air is like fire on my skin
And even the moonlight is blinding


-

Now, don't think for a minute that this song encapsulates my rise to maturity, not even close. This song is good, but I've passed bowel movements that could write more enlightening songs about my life than this. But out of all the artists out there, this guy seems to strike somewhat close to how I've approached life at an earlier time. Townes Van Zant is interesting man relative to other artists. But really, he's hardly fit to sharpen pencils for me, if we're just talking in terms of spiritual maturity.
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Old 08-15-2010, 12:05 AM   #164 (permalink)
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there's a strong humbert humbert kind of vibe in the way you write. not in the predatory way by any stretch, but in the sense of self importance and the convincing oneself of some kind of unique truth.
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Old 08-15-2010, 12:35 AM   #165 (permalink)
the gat'll killya quicker, when I'm drunk off the liquor

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Then I'll give you part of a high five.

I do like your avatar. I wonder what Christopher might think about that photo today, cigarette and such.
I accept the "part of a high five" and raise you a "shug" (part handshake/part hug).

Hitchens seems at peace with his past.

"I burned the candle at both ends...and what a lovely light I gave."
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Old 08-15-2010, 12:46 AM   #166 (permalink)
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I accept the "part of a high five" and raise you a "shug" (part handshake/part hug).

Hitchens seems at peace with his past.

"I burned the candle at both ends...and what a lovely light I gave."
It's interesting for sure. He's 61. I wonder what one thinks about when one is struck down by a disease that will most likely run its course in, what, two or three years? Would you look at your lot and say, "I've had a good life and the booze and smokes were a big part of that, so what if I've lost 10, 20 years?" Does he look at his children and his wife and think, "Maybe it wasn't worth it"? Now that I'm a dad, I'm going to go with the latter.
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Old 08-15-2010, 02:16 AM   #167 (permalink)
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It's interesting for sure. He's 61. I wonder what one thinks about when one is struck down by a disease that will most likely run its course in, what, two or three years? Would you look at your lot and say, "I've had a good life and the booze and smokes were a big part of that, so what if I've lost 10, 20 years?" Does he look at his children and his wife and think, "Maybe it wasn't worth it"? Now that I'm a dad, I'm going to go with the latter.
You could be right. I'm sure he values his kids more than cigarettes. On the other hand, he knows how difficult it is to quit once you're very deep into an addiction. Hitchens is very realistic. He might wish that cigarettes had never been invented, but I don't think he is kicking himself for not quiting earlier. He's not the type to wallow in self pity or regret. At this point, that would be counterproductive. In that sense, I think he is at peace. I could be wrong.
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Old 08-15-2010, 04:28 AM   #168 (permalink)
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This thread is very educational... I'm late but I'll get to reading all the posts.

on-topic: the way you said things in the op, gets me thinking about this stuff. That's why I'm taking the advice from a regular poster on this forum to wait until I'm older to get into these kind of things, for one 'wrong move' with the wrong girl could screw your life over.

I like Jeffb's take on freedom. Once you're married, there's no going back on the commitment.
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Old 08-15-2010, 12:08 PM   #169 (permalink)
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there's a strong humbert humbert kind of vibe in the way you write. not in the predatory way by any stretch, but in the sense of self importance and the convincing oneself of some kind of unique truth.
My style has an absurdist spine which appeals to me. sometimes I even indulge in saying things that I know are wrong, but strike close to a truth that's hard to cleanly express without huge lengthly essays. It puts people on the edge and shatters their normal expectations. The result is that they often reject me, but discuss the message amongst each other, or in their own minds, forming their own opinion, which is what's important.

Where is the lightning to lick you with its tongue? Where is the madness against which you should be inoculated? Behold, I teach you the Superman: He is this lightning, he is this madness
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Old 08-15-2010, 12:56 PM   #170 (permalink)
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the ubermensch connection to your ramblings was more than obvious. neitzsche was batshit insane. you know that, right?
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Old 08-15-2010, 01:18 PM   #171 (permalink)
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Seems like you're taking a page out of my book here, 'trane. Indulging in an absurdist simplification to shock me out of my usual mindset? But you're being a clown trying to entertain a clown, doesn't work.

To state it more soberly, each individual has moments of clarity, and weaker moments of insane egotism, alternating throughout his life, with the life maybe ending in a spectacular disintegration, maybe due to illness. To write someone off entirely as batshit insane, especially someone who has produced a body of work as varied, fascinatingly cogent and subtle as as Nietzsche, would be a weaker moment of insane egotism, this time on your behalf.

Oh right, you were just using a tactic, being the wise clown.

But I'm the wrong audience for that. Nice try.

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Old 08-15-2010, 01:20 PM   #172 (permalink)
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subtle as neitzsce? really? i'm actually not joking. he was crazy, and there are immense flaws throughout. the whole idea of the ubermensch is laughable.
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Old 08-15-2010, 01:30 PM   #173 (permalink)
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I don't think Nietzsche was bat shit insane but he was about a billion miles away from subtle.
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Old 08-15-2010, 01:48 PM   #174 (permalink)
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meh, i see his work as the ramblings of a mad man. cuckolded, anti-female and raised in a house of women for whom he had no respect, he cast about trying to justify his own self worth by imagining the possibility of himself and the people he admired as some kind of complex hero when it was really just thinly veiled arrogance. the whole idea of the superman negates the possibility of communication and cross pollenization of ideas. it is the kind of deluded self-indulgence that leads crazed people to ignore useful criticism in favour of agendas they have committed to without allowing for debate. the idea of the superman always leads to self-aggrandizement.
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Old 08-15-2010, 01:51 PM   #175 (permalink)
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this is exactly why i referenced humbert humbert. it's precisely that kind of deluded self-importance and commitment to flawed logic.
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Old 08-15-2010, 02:06 PM   #176 (permalink)
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FN had enough genius to be a little bit (and often a great deal) of just about everything - he was loud, bright, powerful, simple, complex, verbose, indulgent, concise, restrained, and yes, profoundly subtle. The man, as flawed as he was, was sublime. I could give you 20 of his aphorisms right now at random and for you to dismiss them as unsubtle would indicate nothing about Nietzsche and only your own childhood neglect, your neural atrophy engendered from being nurtured on formula milk, Who's the Boss, corn syrup and & an allegiance to skittles.

Like most who laugh in simplistic denunciations of FN, you all have likely never read Nietzsche beyond the filters of your feminist uni profs, going no further than mere commentaries and dust jackets and interpretations by some third rate academic clinging to a shadow of Nietzsche to get his 5 minutes of fame via a book shelf at Chapters indigo. You can sit in Chapters bobbing your head to Mos Def with your pea coat, thick rimmed glasses and fair trade coffee all you want, but until you put down your overpriced Sushi and actually go to the library and get a proper book and concentrate for more than 15 minutes, all you are going to see are pop culture shadows cast by obelisks erected by academics trying to ward off troubling and disturbing truths that echo as spirits flowing from the passion of history's great men.

I've had bowel movements that have had more brains cells than the people who write about Nietzsche, and that's who you guys likely turn to to get informed about him. But like I've been saying, you are entirely innocent and just as beautiful as any other phenomena in nature, all of you are God, an amoral totality that was never born and will never die.

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Old 08-15-2010, 02:29 PM   #177 (permalink)
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ha. nice. you just completely proved my point.
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Old 08-15-2010, 03:04 PM   #178 (permalink)
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the whole idea of the superman negates the possibility of communication and cross pollenization of ideas.
Your idea of the superman does that. That's what you've got out of it, and that's as far as you are willing to go.

For wiser people, the superman is far more sublime, far more subtle.
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Old 08-15-2010, 03:06 PM   #179 (permalink)
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lol thinking you're all philosophical
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Old 08-15-2010, 04:36 PM   #180 (permalink)
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Your idea of the superman does that. That's what you've got out of it, and that's as far as you are willing to go.

For wiser people, the superman is far more sublime, far more subtle.
again with the self-aggrandizement. your claim to superiority is precisely the problem with the whole concept. wisdom comes in knowing how and when to doubt, not how and when to insist.
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