Alimony - Page 7
Old 08-13-2010, 09:28 PM   #121 (permalink)
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And if they know 100% that you love them, but still want you to sign the paper, what's the reasoning?

Marriage doesn't have to be forever. You can get married and make it legal, both mutually understanding that's is possible to fall out of love and get a divorce.


You have to think about it backwards.
If you'll do anything for love, then why not sign a contract. What is so scary about making it official?

Or is Law more powerful than love?
I'd like to think love is more powerful than law, but I'm just a dumb romantic girl.

I don't like the idea of marriage being a "contract" the way some of these guys are calling it. I know it IS, but... ah, there's no point in me debating it to death.

I think marriage can be awesome, if done right. And for the right reasons.
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Old 08-13-2010, 09:46 PM   #122 (permalink)
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It is a contract, which serves many purposes.

And it's important to have a ring as well. How can you love your girlfriend, but walk around town catching attention from other single woman because you're not wearing a ring, and vice versa.

It's disrespectful, not only to your girlfriend, but to some lady/gentleman you might be talking to who is only talking to you because she/he doesn't see a ring on your finger.

I was always the type to just not give a fuck at all about what other people think, but when it comes to family and love, I'm realizing it's best to just give in to the cultural norms, wear a ring, sign the contract.



A ceremony is important as well, but that can be seperate from the marriage and the ring as far as I'm concerned.
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Old 08-13-2010, 09:48 PM   #123 (permalink)
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I'd like to think love is more powerful than law, but I'm just a dumb romantic girl.
Know that I would never generalize you or any individual female I met in such a manner. Even if you behaved poorly in the past, you are always forgiven and given a chance to be the best you can be. My generalizations apply to what has happened in culture as a whole, but an individual woman in the moment can defy any stereotype, there is no absolute law restricting you, and this goes to all those poor men stuck in destructive stereotypes, obviously as well.

You are an exceptional woman, I have recognized that before. Be proud you have the strength to enter in this thread with the grace and assertiveness that you have done.

All the other men of RF, each and every one of you, I don't care what insults you give me, you are forgiven and regarded with a bemused affection the same way I regard the chirping crickets. You are all entirely innocent, man and woman.
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Old 08-13-2010, 09:52 PM   #124 (permalink)
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It is a contract, which serves many purposes.

And it's important to have a ring as well. How can you love your girlfriend, but walk around town catching attention from other single woman because you're not wearing a ring, and vice versa.

It's disrespectful, not only to your girlfriend, but to some lady/gentleman you might be talking to who is only talking to you because she/he doesn't see a ring on your finger.

I was always the type to just not give a fuck at all about what other people think, but when it comes to family and love, I'm realizing it's best to just give in to the cultural norms, wear a ring, sign the contract.



A ceremony is important as well, but that can be seperate from the marriage and the ring as far as I'm concerned.
Were you born in 1878? Pretty much everything in your post is what I don't get about this whole dealio.

You should have kept up the not giving a fuck.
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:04 PM   #125 (permalink)
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Were you born in 1878? Pretty much everything in your post is what I don't get about this whole dealio.

You should have kept up the not giving a fuck.
What don't you get exactly?


If I was born in 1878 I would of allowed my future-grandparents-in law to drag me down to a church to get me and their grand daughter married the day my girlfriend and I decided to share with people that she was pregnant.

Last edited by bjjs; 08-13-2010 at 10:19 PM.
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:09 PM   #126 (permalink)
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"I... am... Truth... the voice of the Covenant!"


All I can think about reading snippets of Cory's posts is crazy ol' Truth trying to distract me with his nonsense while I absolutely slaughter his Brutes.

Last edited by bjjs; 08-13-2010 at 10:13 PM.
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:41 PM   #127 (permalink)
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Vanity? Nah. Narcissistic megalomania, maybe.
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:56 PM   #128 (permalink)
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Vanity? Nah. Narcissistic megalomania, maybe.
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:57 PM   #129 (permalink)
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What don't you get exactly?


If I was born in 1878 I would of allowed my future-grandparents-in law to drag me down to a church to get me and their grand daughter married the day my girlfriend and I decided to share with people that she was pregnant.
What I meant is I don't understand how it's disrespectful and I don't understand the 'giving in'. And this...

Quote:
How can you love your girlfriend, but walk around town catching attention from other single woman because you're not wearing a ring, and vice versa.
...is utterly ridiculous.
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Old 08-13-2010, 11:08 PM   #130 (permalink)
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What I meant is I don't understand how it's disrespectful and I don't understand the 'giving in'. And this...



...is utterly ridiculous.
Actually some means of social organization is hardly ridiculous, if we are in any way serious about building communities. That doesn't mean we all need to use the same means and go through the same rituals with the use of the same symbols, but to completely ignore the importance of identifying our connections and what they mean only works if we are all just going to stay inside our own little cocoons most of the time. Which is where we seem to be headed, and which seems utterly ridiculous to me.
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Old 08-13-2010, 11:14 PM   #131 (permalink)
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I am a narcissist/megalomaniac why? Because I have been blessed with the kind of rare, almost freakish biological endowment that prevents me from being uncontrollably flung into mating rituals shaped by ancient cortical processes so shoddily arranged it makes engineers of my kind blush in embarrassment at the human race?

I am a narcissist why, because I was involuntarily born with intellectual and physical abilities that your kind cannot even begin to comprehend? Do you realize I have dunked in high school games? Dunking, of course, something most RF members will never know first hand.

My body is not like most humans. I got struck one time by a car by some crazy drunk.... his car was wrecked. Oddly, I got up and didn't have a scratch on me. Am I a narcissist because I can't help but be like anything this planet has ever seen?

It's somehow a fault on my character that I have, through sheer chance of abnormal natural endowment(credit goes only to nature) elevated myself above animals, women, children, men, and even Gods?

You guys really are a laugh. Are you all high or what?

I am a compassionate person. Do you know what it's like to go to a pub and have to turn down women who I painfully watch ignore a man who is getting turned down by a woman who weighs more than him, and then watch this man get more drunk and start calling up an ex, leaving weird messages on her phone? That hurts me, to see that.

You guys are too into yourself to even reach out to such men, too narcissistic.
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Old 08-13-2010, 11:27 PM   #132 (permalink)
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If I was high I might get into your spiels. Either that or be drawn into a violent rage. It would depend on the drugs I suppose.
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Old 08-13-2010, 11:55 PM   #133 (permalink)
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What I meant is I don't understand how it's disrespectful and I don't understand the 'giving in'. And this...



...is utterly ridiculous.
"how can you love your girlfriend" was a poor choice of words, I should of rephrased it as, "how can you be committed to your girlfriend".
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Old 08-13-2010, 11:59 PM   #134 (permalink)
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Actually some means of social organization is hardly ridiculous, if we are in any way serious about building communities. That doesn't mean we all need to use the same means and go through the same rituals with the use of the same symbols, but to completely ignore the importance of identifying our connections and what they mean only works if we are all just going to stay inside our own little cocoons most of the time. Which is where we seem to be headed, and which seems utterly ridiculous to me.
I don't disagree with what you're saying, although I don't agree with the whole 'cocoon' thing. He's talking about demonstrative things - like publicy proclaiming your love, as if that's necessary. I don't think it is at all. To say that you can't love someone if you don't wear a ring or their ring or whatever, is utterly ridiculous. That was my point. Kinda presumptuous and insulting to us naked fingered people.
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Old 08-14-2010, 12:16 AM   #135 (permalink)
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I don't disagree with what you're saying, although I don't agree with the whole 'cocoon' thing. He's talking about demonstrative things - like publicy proclaiming your love, as if that's necessary. I don't think it is at all. To say that you can't love someone if you don't wear a ring or their ring or whatever, is utterly ridiculous. That was my point. Kinda presumptuous and insulting to us naked fingered people.
It's not necessary, but why not proclaim it anyways?

And I'm a naked fingered person as well, and personally, I feel like a asshole every day I don't have a ring on my finger.

I still don't really give a fuck about what people think about me....but I've realized, I do give a fuck about what they think about my girlfriend and my son. And by not having a ring, like it or not, people will judge and make assumptions.

Yeah fuck those people for forming opinions, but if I'm truly committed to my girlfriend what's the harm in getting in line with the rest of society and signalling that we're committed to eachother.
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Old 08-14-2010, 01:28 AM   #136 (permalink)
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"how can you love your girlfriend" was a poor choice of words, I should of rephrased it as, "how can you be committed to your girlfriend".
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Old 08-14-2010, 09:54 AM   #137 (permalink)
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Know that I would never generalize you or any individual female I met in such a manner. Even if you behaved poorly in the past, you are always forgiven and given a chance to be the best you can be. My generalizations apply to what has happened in culture as a whole, but an individual woman in the moment can defy any stereotype, there is no absolute law restricting you, and this goes to all those poor men stuck in destructive stereotypes, obviously as well.

You are an exceptional woman, I have recognized that before. Be proud you have the strength to enter in this thread with the grace and assertiveness that you have done.

All the other men of RF, each and every one of you, I don't care what insults you give me, you are forgiven and regarded with a bemused affection the same way I regard the chirping crickets. You are all entirely innocent, man and woman.
You do generalize. That's what caused my little rant on the previous page.

The problem was that your generalizations weren't even stereotypes per se.... to me, they sounded like they came from someone who has nothing but negative ideas about women. And I'm sorry, but that shit won't fly with me.

As for our innocence (the men and woman of RF)... what are we innocent of?
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Old 08-14-2010, 10:21 AM   #138 (permalink)
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For the record, happily married for 8 years and went out for 6 years before tying the knot. Parents celebrated their 50th a couple of years ago. I also have 5 siblings and 4 of the 5 are still happily married with their original partners with children in university, college and/or high school. It can still happen even these days.
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Old 08-14-2010, 10:30 AM   #139 (permalink)
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congrats! my parents just passed their 35th. pretty sure the home you come from sets your core beliefs about marriage. i'm not going to ask, but i'll insinuate that those against marriage were raised in sole-custody/joint-custody families.
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Old 08-14-2010, 10:42 AM   #140 (permalink)
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You do generalize. That's what caused my little rant on the previous page.
But the generalizations do not necessarily apply to you. It's not as if I had you mind when I wrote it, after all, I don't know you at all.

Quote:
The problem was that your generalizations weren't even stereotypes per se.... to me, they sounded like they came from someone who has nothing but negative ideas about women. And I'm sorry, but that shit won't fly with me.
You're gonna just have to be proud you don't fall into those negative behaviors I described and do your best to maintain simplicity of desire, and with that, gratitude, probably some of the hardest things to have. My sister right now is complaining her boyfriend is "too simple", thinking about dumping him. Nicest guy in the world, certainly not dumb, but she is full of desire and emotional idealism. She thinks life is about desiring more and more, getting entertained all the time, but really, it's the opposite. Not saying you are like this, but if I could inspire you to do anything, it's to not expect much of a man, other than an ability to contribute wealth, respect his health, and just as importantly, give kindness and respect to you.

Quote:
As for our innocence (the men and woman of RF)... what are we innocent of?
RF members are all innocent of any attempts to hurt, defame or mock me, this is malice, but it is nature's doing, not theirs.

You get angry with me, it's because you are dealing with your suffering in the way you think is best, it's not a choice, you and me are nature's will.

Last edited by Cory; 08-14-2010 at 10:45 AM.
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