Alimony - Page 5
Old 08-13-2010, 02:00 PM   #81 (permalink)
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i think marriage for a lot is fulfilling a childhood dream. i don't care to get married, but i don't want to stand in the way of my girlfriends dream ever since she can remember. for me it's a step towards compromise, which is what is most important in successful relationships.
My girlfriend wants to get married and brings it up a lot. I don't think it's THAT important to her, but she has her moments which turn into our moments and it can get heated. She says she doesn't care about the ceremony, about anyone knowing. So, I ask her what the point is. She wants to have the same last name as our son.

Me: "Go down to city hall and change it"

Her: "It's not the same!"

Me:

And as far as fulfilling a childhood dream, I can't imagine having a such a dream and then expecting someone to help me fulfill it. My girlfriend always says, "It's what *I* want and you should want to make me happy!" Like, excuse me? I'd like a threesome with a stripper...

I'll reiterate that I'm not putting anyone down for whatever they choose to do. I'm just bringing it up because I seem to be questioned about it and badgered by people.
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Old 08-13-2010, 02:07 PM   #82 (permalink)
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What is marriage anyway? What's the point?
I used to wonder that too, but as I get older, I understand what it's purpose was: it was once established to make the prospect of raising a family and contributing to society attractive to beta men, who are the majority of men. Before the institution of marriage, women would naturally gravitate toward higher ranking males, regardless of the other women in that man's life, so it was a rather polygamous situation, not because women are naturally polygamous, but because they are hypergamous, meaning they are looking to find the highest ranking male available, which usually means they will fuck a guy who is already fucking other women, and compete with those women, ignoring the guys who would be reliable care givers. This ended up being bad for both men and women and the stability of society at large. So in early times when this was the case, it was a problem, because beta men were not motivated to work for the state because they needed the support of a woman to find motivation.

Compared to women, a relatively small % of males actually went on to reproduce, because women pick you, you don't really pick women, generally speaking. Women initiate well over 80% if break ups. Rape is actually not a norm, it is a violation of natural protocols, men, generally, submissively let the woman decide. In earlier times, I believe less than 40% of men fathered children, whereas with women it was well over 85%.

So the institution of marriage was established to give as many men as possible a chance to have sex and family, and societies who adopted marriage (as an institution that was hard to get out of after the commitment) did very well.

So the attraction of marriage is this: you are about to have kids with this person. You need to be able to rely on this person for the long term for the good of the kids and also for a sense of predictability, which is as necessary as food and water. It was known that women will generally leave you for brighter prospects of romance, (which there always are) so a contract was necessary to get her to put aside her feelings and be essentially a worker for her husband, who in turn, would be a worker for her. Working for the state needed to seem attractive to men, and restraining women with marriage was apparently the way culture made work seem attractive to men. Believe it or not, it was also more attractive for women, because a woman's beauty only lasts so long, and at about 40, she loses her appeal, and without a marriage, she would easily ended up in serious poverty. That exciting Alpha male who fluttered your heart with eloquent Solomon and Euripides riffs, ravishing you in his private quarters while your husband was wiping his brow toiling in some field? Doesn't give a fuck about you when your beauty fades, he has another harem of young girls up and coming. You're disposable to him, and when your husband finds out you're a cheat, you're gonna end up on the streets. Washing potatoes in a stream, maybe resorting to prostitution with burly, toothless men, praying to the Dear Lord to save you a spot in heaven. Life outside a marriage for a woman over 40 was not pretty.

Feelings of Love and Romance initially had little, if nothing to do with marriage: most women were not madly in love with their men, that's just not how life was for almost all of history.

Marriage was about the hard work of committing to the kids and being a reliable helper to your spouse for the stability of everyone, you, your husband and society at large. Without marriage our animal drives took over and the culture's stability weakened.

Marriage used to mean something very specific and had a very pragmatic purpose and for that reason it was hard to get out of, and this probably had it's advantages, at least relative to the times. Whether it has a logical role to fill in the present age, I'm not sure.

Now, marriage means something different entirely, it's more of an emotional and romantic thing, which is entirely the opposite of what it was about through the majority of history, and women can now indulge their hypergamous instincts to their hearts content, flipping through a catalog to pick a $5'000-10'000+ ring, entering a contract, getting bored of the man as quickly as she fell in love, maybe even having his child, and then moving onto the next man, but not without extortion of her previous lovers money, and she may repeat this until her beauty fades.

Many women, just can't find Mr. Right, because they have totally incorrect ideas about what life is about. It's not about finding the man of your dreams who will entertain you day in day out. He's the elusive Alpha male, and either a) has a preferences for women who are higher ranking than you, b) is an asshole who will treat you bad, or c) will satisfy you only for a little while until you spot a higher status male.


So yeah, there you have it. Marriage 101
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Old 08-13-2010, 02:08 PM   #83 (permalink)
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I don't like Marriage.

Love is probably one of the most chemically and emotionally irrational phenomenon on the planet, and for that it is beautiful to me.

Politic and law are born from and exist only to hand down decision based upon logic (after democratic process has handed the reigns over to the courts, of course, so please, lets not argue this point in this thread)

Why any person alive, under any rational thought would believe it an intelligent idea to combine the most logical thing we know, with the most illiogical thing and expect it to work is byond me.

Marriage is ridiculous.

That said, if you have a gal at your side, and you love cherish respect, all those pretty things, then by all means, have the whole damn wedding.... have the flowers, the food the embarrassing speeches, the cake and the first kiss.


Just don't sign a contract.
Contracts aren't love, they are law. Any woman that needs me to sign that paper to prove I love her is most likely not for me.
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Old 08-13-2010, 02:10 PM   #84 (permalink)
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cory, have you ever thought about maybe marrying a man?
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Old 08-13-2010, 02:13 PM   #85 (permalink)
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SuperJudge, read over my post and see what you think. I say that the success of cultures worldwide stems from the institution of marriage. The most powerful cultures to emerge always have a marriage component, these are the cultures that have been selected, while others have died out. Polygamy and hypergamy does not lend to powerful societies, but to unstable ones.
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Old 08-13-2010, 02:14 PM   #86 (permalink)
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I used to wonder that too, but as I get older, I understand what it's purpose was: it was once established to make the prospect of raising a family and contributing to society attractive to beta men, who are the majority of men. Before the institution of marriage, women would naturally gravitate toward higher ranking males, regardless of the other women in that man's life, so it was a rather polygamous situation, not because women are naturally polygamous, but because they are hypergamous, meaning they are looking to find the highest ranking male available, which usually means they will fuck a guy who is already fucking other women, and compete with those women, ignoring the guys who would be reliable care givers. This ended up being bad for both men and women and the stability of society at large. So in early times when this was the case, it was a problem, because beta men were not motivated to work for the state because they needed the support of a woman to find motivation.

Compared to women, a relatively small % of males actually went on to reproduce, because women pick you, you don't really pick women, generally speaking. Women initiate well over 80% if break ups. Rape is actually not a norm, it is a violation of natural protocols, men, generally, submissively let the woman decide. In earlier times, I believe less than 40% of men fathered children, whereas with women it was well over 85%.

So the institution of marriage was established to give as many men as possible a chance to have sex and family, and societies who adopted marriage (as an institution that was hard to get out of after the commitment) did very well.

So the attraction of marriage is this: you are about to have kids with this person. You need to be able to rely on this person for the long term for the good of the kids and also for a sense of predictability, which is as necessary as food and water. It was known that women will generally leave you for brighter prospects of romance, (which there always are) so a contract was necessary to get her to put aside her feelings and be essentially a worker for her husband, who in turn, would be a worker for her. Working for the state needed to seem attractive to men, and restraining women with marriage was apparently the way culture made work seem attractive to men. Believe it or not, it was also more attractive for women, because a woman's beauty only lasts so long, and at about 40, she loses her appeal, and without a marriage, she would easily ended up in serious poverty. That exciting Alpha male who fluttered your heart with eloquent Solomon and Euripides riffs, ravishing you in his private quarters while your husband was wiping his brow toiling in some field? Doesn't give a fuck about you when your beauty fades, he has another harem of young girls up and coming. You're disposable to him, and when your husband finds out you're a cheat, you're gonna end up on the streets. Washing potatoes in a stream, maybe resorting to prostitution with burly, toothless men, praying to the Dear Lord to save you a spot in heaven. Life outside a marriage for a woman over 40 was not pretty.

Feelings of Love and Romance initially had little, if nothing to do with marriage: most women were not madly in love with their men, that's just not how life was for almost all of history.

Marriage was about the hard work of committing to the kids and being a reliable helper to your spouse for the stability of everyone, you, your husband and society at large. Without marriage our animal drives took over and the culture's stability weakened.

Marriage used to mean something very specific and had a very pragmatic purpose and for that reason it was hard to get out of, and this probably had it's advantages, at least relative to the times. Whether it has a logical role to fill in the present age, I'm not sure.

Now, marriage means something different entirely, it's more of an emotional and romantic thing, which is entirely the opposite of what it was about through the majority of history, and women can now indulge their hypergamous instincts to their hearts content, flipping through a catalog to pick a $5'000-10'000+ ring, entering a contract, getting bored of the man as quickly as she fell in love, maybe even having his child, and then moving onto the next man, but not without extortion of her previous lovers money, and she may repeat this until her beauty fades.

Many women, just can't find Mr. Right, because they have totally incorrect ideas about what life is about. It's not about finding the man of your dreams who will entertain you day in day out. He's the elusive Alpha male, and either a) has a preferences for women who are higher ranking than you, b) is an asshole who will treat you bad, or c) will satisfy you only for a little while until you spot a higher status male.


So yeah, there you have it. Marriage 101
Although I am certain that is 100% plagiarized, I don't care....

and......Boom goes the dynamite!
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Old 08-13-2010, 02:15 PM   #87 (permalink)
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I don't like Marriage.

Love is probably one of the most chemically and emotionally irrational phenomenon on the planet, and for that it is beautiful to me.

Politic and law are born from and exist only to hand down decision based upon logic (after democratic process has handed the reigns over to the courts, of course, so please, lets not argue this point in this thread)

Why any person alive, under any rational thought would believe it an intelligent idea to combine the most logical thing we know, with the most illiogical thing and expect it to work is byond me.

Marriage is ridiculous.

That said, if you have a gal at your side, and you love cherish respect, all those pretty things, then by all means, have the whole damn wedding.... have the flowers, the food the embarrassing speeches, the cake and the first kiss.


Just don't sign a contract.
Contracts aren't love, they are law. Any woman that needs me to sign that paper to prove I love her is most likely not for me.
That's not even what we were talking about here.

We're talking about two people who want to be married to each other, or two people who don't.

That's it.
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Old 08-13-2010, 02:16 PM   #88 (permalink)
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why do you think it's plagarized, don't be a presumptuous ass. Yes, I've read books and studied a lot of subjects, anyone who can write an informed piece is manifesting his education, not necessarily his own original insights.
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Old 08-13-2010, 02:18 PM   #89 (permalink)
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so thats all you?

Thats cool cory, don't call me an ass or I'll kick yours


I don't disagree with ya at all.
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Old 08-13-2010, 02:27 PM   #90 (permalink)
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I used to wonder that too, but as I get older, I understand what it's purpose was: it was once established to make the prospect of raising a family and contributing to society attractive to beta men, who are the majority of men. Before the institution of marriage, women would naturally gravitate toward higher ranking males, regardless of the other women in that man's life, so it was a rather polygamous situation, not because women are naturally polygamous, but because they are hypergamous, meaning they are looking to find the highest ranking male available, which usually means they will fuck a guy who is already fucking other women, and compete with those women, ignoring the guys who would be reliable care givers. This ended up being bad for both men and women and the stability of society at large. So in early times when this was the case, it was a problem, because beta men were not motivated to work for the state because they needed the support of a woman to find motivation.

Compared to women, a relatively small % of males actually went on to reproduce, because women pick you, you don't really pick women, generally speaking. Women initiate well over 80% if break ups. Rape is actually not a norm, it is a violation of natural protocols, men, generally, submissively let the woman decide. In earlier times, I believe less than 40% of men fathered children, whereas with women it was well over 85%.

So the institution of marriage was established to give as many men as possible a chance to have sex and family, and societies who adopted marriage (as an institution that was hard to get out of after the commitment) did very well.

So the attraction of marriage is this: you are about to have kids with this person. You need to be able to rely on this person for the long term for the good of the kids and also for a sense of predictability, which is as necessary as food and water. It was known that women will generally leave you for brighter prospects of romance, (which there always are) so a contract was necessary to get her to put aside her feelings and be essentially a worker for her husband, who in turn, would be a worker for her. Working for the state needed to seem attractive to men, and restraining women with marriage was apparently the way culture made work seem attractive to men. Believe it or not, it was also more attractive for women, because a woman's beauty only lasts so long, and at about 40, she loses her appeal, and without a marriage, she would easily ended up in serious poverty. That exciting Alpha male who fluttered your heart with eloquent Solomon and Euripides riffs, ravishing you in his private quarters while your husband was wiping his brow toiling in some field? Doesn't give a fuck about you when your beauty fades, he has another harem of young girls up and coming. You're disposable to him, and when your husband finds out you're a cheat, you're gonna end up on the streets. Washing potatoes in a stream, maybe resorting to prostitution with burly, toothless men, praying to the Dear Lord to save you a spot in heaven. Life outside a marriage for a woman over 40 was not pretty.

Feelings of Love and Romance initially had little, if nothing to do with marriage: most women were not madly in love with their men, that's just not how life was for almost all of history.

Marriage was about the hard work of committing to the kids and being a reliable helper to your spouse for the stability of everyone, you, your husband and society at large. Without marriage our animal drives took over and the culture's stability weakened.

Marriage used to mean something very specific and had a very pragmatic purpose and for that reason it was hard to get out of, and this probably had it's advantages, at least relative to the times. Whether it has a logical role to fill in the present age, I'm not sure.

Now, marriage means something different entirely, it's more of an emotional and romantic thing, which is entirely the opposite of what it was about through the majority of history, and women can now indulge their hypergamous instincts to their hearts content, flipping through a catalog to pick a $5'000-10'000+ ring, entering a contract, getting bored of the man as quickly as she fell in love, maybe even having his child, and then moving onto the next man, but not without extortion of her previous lovers money, and she may repeat this until her beauty fades.

Many women, just can't find Mr. Right, because they have totally incorrect ideas about what life is about. It's not about finding the man of your dreams who will entertain you day in day out. He's the elusive Alpha male, and either a) has a preferences for women who are higher ranking than you, b) is an asshole who will treat you bad, or c) will satisfy you only for a little while until you spot a higher status male.


So yeah, there you have it. Marriage 101
My 'what's the point' was more statement than question I guess, but I really like this explanation.

I love watching those marriage/wedding shows, like Rich Bride, Poor Bride.
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Old 08-13-2010, 02:28 PM   #91 (permalink)
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I'm gonna make an awesome spinster.
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Old 08-13-2010, 02:30 PM   #92 (permalink)
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so thats all you?
I never copied and pasted, I had no articles up in my browser to read from and had no books by my side to consult. What I wrote is an overview of some material I read over the past year, with some added artistic flourishes for my own entertainment (not sure if too many early history Alpha's would be trying to impress chicks with Solomon and Euripides )
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Old 08-13-2010, 02:49 PM   #93 (permalink)
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cory, have you ever thought about maybe marrying a man?
Better yet, why marry either?
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Old 08-13-2010, 03:39 PM   #94 (permalink)
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My marriage was a small celebration of two independent people and their friends and family coming together. It could have been something more informal and we would have been fine, but the other people involved in the day would have taken it differently. Marriage has changed over the course of time, just as the sense of community has changed. Eventually our sense of community might make it entirely unnecessary, but rituals of some sort will likely last as long as we do, because believe it or not, they do help us to collectively approach the enormous gulf where the unknowable lies waiting for each of us.

We come into the unkown alone, and leave it on our own. I don't see much sense in going mad facing it utterly alone, even if it means we need to fool each other to a degree to get around that. I guess that makes me a VHS male.
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Old 08-13-2010, 03:48 PM   #95 (permalink)
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My marriage was a small celebration of two independent people and their friends and family coming together. It could have been something more informal and we would have been fine, but the other people involved in the day would have taken it differently. Marriage has changed over the course of time, just as the sense of community has changed. Eventually our sense of community might make it entirely unnecessary, but rituals of some sort will likely last as long as we do, because believe it or not, they do help us to collectively approach the enormous gulf where the unknowable lies waiting for each of us.

We come into the unkown alone, and leave it on our own. I don't see much sense in going mad facing it utterly alone, even if it means we need to fool each other to a degree to get around that. I guess that makes me a VHS male.

But not getting married doesn't mean you have to be alone. It just depends on the two people involved and their wants. Compromise is a part of life, to what extent is up to the individuals involved and it can't be one sided otherwise there will be resentment. Marriage is very difficult to make work, add everyday BS, Kids and other things to the mix and well....it just isn't for me. Whoever gets married i wish them the best but in the back of my mind i'm thanking god it isn't me.
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Old 08-13-2010, 04:02 PM   #96 (permalink)
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i have a friend who was married to a woman who already had 2 kids of her own from a previous relationship.
anyways, long story short - her kids where about 9 and 10 and hated his guts, he tried but pretty much had no relationship with these kids whatsoever.
they were married for a few years until he found out she was cheating on him.
they got divorced and now he has to pay her child support for the 2 kids that arent even his.
if thats not totally fucked, i dont know what is.
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Old 08-13-2010, 04:14 PM   #97 (permalink)
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i have a friend who was married to a woman who already had 2 kids of her own from a previous relationship.
anyways, long story short - her kids where about 9 and 10 and hated his guts, he tried but pretty much had no relationship with these kids whatsoever.
they were married for a few years until he found out she was cheating on him.
they got divorced and now he has to pay her child support for the 2 kids that arent even his.
if thats not totally fucked, i dont know what is.

See now that's just fuckin' rediculous!
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Old 08-13-2010, 04:34 PM   #98 (permalink)
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I was just outside cutting my lawn and the crazy old lady next door said - after detailing her husbands death for the billionth time - "When-ah you spouse-ah die, you no want-ah to live-ah no more!" Her husband died in 1977 and she told me she goes to church everyday and prays that God will take her.

For some reason, I felt that it was relevant to this discussion.
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Old 08-13-2010, 05:23 PM   #99 (permalink)
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I find this entire thread depressing.
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Old 08-13-2010, 05:41 PM   #100 (permalink)
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I find this entire thread depressing.
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