Alimony - Page 2
Old 08-13-2010, 10:09 AM   #21 (permalink)
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But women automatically get custody and child support, so they have the opportunity to break the marriage to jump ship to a different man, and then get financed by their ex for it.
Um. As a woman, I find it this gross generalisation offensive.
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:13 AM   #22 (permalink)
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the exact same thing can be said for being single...
being single certainly isnt for everyone, unfortunately alot of people never find that one special person in their life, and figure that out when they are sad and lonely and die alone wishing they had family in the end.... lol.
Of course. I think the thing people like Jeff and I are reacting to is the very common place notion that people are supposed to get married. A lot of these problems have to do with expectations people place on themselves and others, and not necessarily with the structure of marriage. People just need to take the time to figure out what they really want.

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I think if anything you need to find someone who wants the same things out of life.
Yeah, Jeff. I completely agree. And you need to take the time to figure out if your companion wants the same things. It probably doesn't hurt to have a couple of tough conversations before jumping into things.

To be honest, I think a lot of the douchebags Corey is talking about can be avoided. When you're dating somebody, if you pay careful attention, red flags go off. Sometimes they are minor things that just indicate a small point of contention concerning your world view, but other times those red flags reveal that the other person is a huge douche. I'm not saying every cheater can be identified, but I think the type of jerk who does what Corey is worried about will show some signs of douchery much earlier on. If a person with integrity looks for another person with integrity, I honestly believe they can find one. If you marry for the wrong reasons and don't take due dillegence in finding a spouse, you run the risk of things ending poorly. But Marriages/long term relationships don't have to end poorly, with one side winning and the other losing. Mature people would just recognize things are not working and move on. And if kids are involved, they'd work together to do what is in the best interest of the kids, since by definition, those mature people would care far more about the kids than "winning" the divorce settlement or "losing" it. /captain obvious/
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:25 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Um. As a woman, I find it this gross generalisation offensive.
Yeah. Me too.
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:27 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Um. As a woman, I find it this gross generalisation offensive.
Offensive, but often true sadly!
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:29 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Offensive, but often true sadly!
It's often true that the dude cheats on the wife with some younger woman.... but it doesn't mean that we can make generalizations like that. Right?
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:31 AM   #26 (permalink)
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It's often true that the dude cheats on the wife with some younger woman.... but it doesn't mean that we can make generalizations like that. Right?
yup and its often the women who gets the alimony too right?

Well hopefully that will change

MALE EQUALITY PEOPLE !!!
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:31 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Um. As a woman, I find it this gross generalisation offensive.
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Originally Posted by Barracuda View Post
Yeah. Me too.
It's Cory.

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Originally Posted by jeffb View Post
Offensive, but often true sadly!
"often"? :facepalm:

Dude. You just jumped under the bus. You should have left Cory there by himself.
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:36 AM   #28 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by INSIDER View Post
the exact same thing can be said for being single...
being single certainly isnt for everyone, unfortunately alot of people never find that one special person in their life, and figure that out when they are sad and lonely and die alone wishing they had family in the end.... lol.
Why you gotta make me cry, Insider?

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Old 08-13-2010, 10:37 AM   #29 (permalink)
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It's Cory.



"often"? :facepalm:

Dude. You just jumped under the bus. You should have left Cory there by himself.
Mehhh, i've seen quite a few guys get screwed when it comes to divorce. The ex keeps the house while he needs to get some cheap apartment because he has to shell out alot of $$$ and he can't afford anything more. And it goes both ways. I don't know why it's offensive (other then the new boyfriend part).
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:38 AM   #30 (permalink)
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*captain obvious enters the thread*

There are probably more dead beat Dads who don't pay child support than there are women ripping off husbands. Suckage is usually a two way street.

I don't get "male rights" movements any more than I get most versions of feminism (I used to be alright with being called a feminist).

The fact of the matter is, inequality exists on both sides in different degrees and forms. Some are worse than other and usually are not solely based on sex. Other variables come into play, like economic status. Scapegoating or victimizing either sex is just stupid.

Anyways, humanism for the win.
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:40 AM   #31 (permalink)
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This is true too. The fact for me is that i was engaged at 21, have lived with 3 different women and i know that at this point at least, i love my freedom. I'm in a 4yr relationship currently where we see each other twice a week and it's heaven and thankfully neither one of us wants kids. I think if anything you need to find someone who wants the same things out of life.
I won't disagree with this. Sometimes we want something so badly, we think we have it. When I look back at the dude I was "supposed" to marry (before you ask - no, not SJ. This was years and years ago), I thank my lucky stars that I never did. Cuz I would've gone through with it; I fooled myself. Wonder what the drunk did with my ring. Meh.

Anyways... I still hope to one day be married with kids. I do. But you're right - you have to find someone who wants the same things as you. The dumbest thing anyone can do is fool themselves. And it happens way too often.
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:43 AM   #32 (permalink)
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*captain obvious enters the thread*

There are probably more dead beat Dads who don't pay child support than there are women ripping off husbands. Suckage is usually a two way street.
Of course it is which is why i said it goes both ways, i know a woman in my family who divorced her husband, they had two kids together.Anyway he's been paying support and everything for about 13yrs now. Well both kids are 18+, one is in University. She said to me a few months ago that once he doesn't have to pay for his kids anymore (once they're out of school) that she was gonna go after her ex's pension. I asked her why, she said "because i can".


Nice, no?
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:43 AM   #33 (permalink)
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If Calderon makes the odd good defense play, does that mean it's wrong to say he's generally a bad defender? If Dwayne Wade scores 15 points in a game, does that mean it's wrong to say that he generally doesn't score close to 30 a game?

But this is sports, generalizations apply just as well to scientific fields like genetics, psychology, chemistry and Quantum Mechanics, science does not rest on absolutes, it rests on statistical probabilities, it makes statements about what generally occurs, which can be demonstrated repeatedly in the real world.

The whole world functions by using generalizations, this because things generally happen a certain way, always with rare exceptions.

So when I make the generalization that custody of the kids goes to the cheating or non cheating wife who gets child support, it's because that's what generally happens, despite relatively rare exceptions.
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:44 AM   #34 (permalink)
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I won't disagree with this. Sometimes we want something so badly, we think we have it. When I look back at the dude I was "supposed" to marry (before you ask - no, not SJ. This was years and years ago), I thank my lucky stars that I never did. Cuz I would've gone through with it; I fooled myself. Wonder what the drunk did with my ring. Meh.

Anyways... I still hope to one day be married with kids. I do. But you're right - you have to find someone who wants the same things as you. The dumbest thing anyone can do is fool themselves. And it happens way too often.
I've attributed the attitude better to be alone than to settle for what I think is best. The attitude is working fine I'm still alone
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:46 AM   #35 (permalink)
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I've attributed the attitude better to be alone than to settle for what I think is best. The attitude is working fine I'm still alone
Yeah, settling is for chumps. If I settled, I'd have to take care of a drunk adult baby who likes to drive into brick walls and punch things.

I'd rather be alone than in hell. You got it, DVS!
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:52 AM   #36 (permalink)
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um, it works in reverse too. a man can initiate, and can take the woman's money if she is the primary breadwinner. it goes both ways, equally. nice try.
Get the fuck outta dodge man.

The system is terribly skewed in the woman's direction, and I can cite about a trillion cases. This coming from a man who grew up with a dead beat dad never paying a cent.

Thats like saying "well there are black guys who hate whites, so nice try saying there's too much racism toward blacks"

You might be making a point that not all Divorces go in a woman's favor, but honestly, trane', don't be that guy ok,no offence but it's annoying because anyone over the age of 30 who has lived and heard and seen know that your scenario is so the minority it might as well not even exist.
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:58 AM   #37 (permalink)
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Of course it is which is why i said it goes both ways, i know a woman in my family who divorced her husband, they had two kids together.Anyway he's been paying support and everything for about 13yrs now. Well both kids are 18+, one is in University. She said to me a few months ago that once he doesn't have to pay for his kids anymore (once they're out of school) that she was gonna go after her ex's pension. I asked her why, she said "because i can".


Nice, no?
Brutal. Unjust.

With women like this, I think they are likely being influenced by divorce lawyers, and like most professional groups, lawyers will seek conditions that are good for business. What makes attorneys a little scary compared to say, engineers or salespeople, is that 1) they know how to lobby for change to the legal system, bypassing voters and previously established policy that secures more revenue for them, and b) what benefits them is often directly harmful to the fabric of society in general, and to children in particular.

I really find interesting too the bogus claims by the females seeking alimony that women suffer under divorce, and thus should be reimbursed. This is designed to obscure the fact that she is the one who filed for divorce!

Defenders of alimony too insist that a woman seeking a divorce should not see a drop in living standards, but it is somehow acceptable for the husband to see a drop even if he did not want a divorce. I would go further and declare that any belief that women deserve alimony on a no-fault basis in this day age is utterly contradictory to the belief that women are equals of men. You shouldn't need a prenup, these are atavistic scripts that should be vestigial.

How can women both deserve alimony while also claiming equality? Yes, in rare cases, high-earning women have had to pay alimony to ex-husbands, but that is only 4% of the time, vs. the man paying 96% of the time. I see little equality, just a lot of pretense.
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Old 08-13-2010, 11:03 AM   #38 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Cory View Post
If Calderon makes the odd good defense play, does that mean it's wrong to say he's generally a bad defender? If Dwayne Wade scores 15 points in a game, does that mean it's wrong to say that he generally doesn't score close to 30 a game?

But this is sports, generalizations apply just as well to scientific fields like genetics, psychology, chemistry and Quantum Mechanics, science does not rest on absolutes, it rests on statistical probabilities, it makes statements about what generally occurs, which can be demonstrated repeatedly in the real world.

The whole world functions by using generalizations, this because things generally happen a certain way, always with rare exceptions.

So when I make the generalization that custody of the kids goes to the cheating or non cheating wife who gets child support, it's because that's what generally happens, despite relatively rare exceptions.
You're not being consistent.

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Originally Posted by Cory View Post
uh, read my opening post again and you'll see I made that qualification, women need to beware, too.

But women automatically get custody and child support, so they have the opportunity to break the marriage to jump ship to a different man, and then get financed by their ex for it.
And that's why Taz took offense. You said "automatically".
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Old 08-13-2010, 11:06 AM   #39 (permalink)
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You're not being consistent.

And that's why Taz took offense. You said "automatically".
Exactly.

There's nuthin' automatic about it.

I know of a dude who got custody and all the perks cuz he could afford a better lawyer. And he was a bad, bad man.
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Old 08-13-2010, 11:10 AM   #40 (permalink)
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Yeah, settling is for chumps. If I settled, I'd have to take care of a drunk adult baby who likes to drive into brick walls and punch things.

I'd rather be alone than in hell. You got it, DVS!
Yes but you'll find heaven soon enough. I usually hang around North Toronto you may find Heaven around there

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Exactly.

There's nuthin' automatic about it.

I know of a dude who got custody and all the perks cuz he could afford a better lawyer. And he was a bad, bad man.
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