Dr. J. Naismith

Top 10 Things Sam Mitchell Possibly Said in the Huddle Before the Final “Play” in Game 2

10. “Okay, who took my marker? Ah hell, it doesn’t matter.”

9. “TJ…warm up. Nah, just kidding. That buzzer beater layup was a one time thing…I ain’t crazy.”

8. “Well, they just made shots, we didn’t. Guys on the floor have to make pl…hold on, this isn’t the media scrum?”

7. “Primo, gimme your uni, I’m going in. This place is about to get Smitchified.”

6. “Okay, Andrea, seriously, why is your mouth never closed? It’s starting to freak me out. Distracting me from drawing up a play…yeah, that’s it.”

5. “What? X’s and O’s? Nah. See this here? This is a roach…see his little legs? Yeah, a roach. See the lightbulb I drew up here? Who wants to guess? Anybody? Anybody? Yes, let’s run the ‘Roaches When The Lights Come On’ play. That one always confuses everybody.”

4. “Dude, where’s my Ford Edge?”

3. “All right, I’m taking orders for tonight…we are in Whorelando if you know what I’m sayin’. Smitch better have his money! What? That doesn’t make sense? Okay, your curfew is 11:00.”

2. “Throw the next pitch off the mascot. What? Basketball? Oh.”

1. “Okay guys, from what I have read, I am supposed to draw something up to get the ball in the hands of our best player for a final shot. Doesn’t say anything about where the player is supposed to shoot from…er…I got it, Bosh, you inbound the ball. What? Oh, then you take the inbounds pass…and um…anybody have Toni Braxton’s number? No? Anybody know when she’s coming back to Casino Rama?”