Jay: Maybe Samís a Genius
Old 04-08-2008, 09:06 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Question Jay: Maybe Samís a Genius

Maybe itís the fruity alcoholic drinks talking, maybe itís the twirling paper umbrella distracting my thought process, but maybe, just maybe, Sam Mitchell is a genius. You see, if over the next 5 games, the Raptors go 3-2, theyíre going to end up lining up against the Magic. One would have to think that out of the Celtics, Pistons, Cavs and Magic, the one you would want to face would have to be the Magic. Even more than that, the Raptors probably match up best against the Magic (as long as TJ doesnít have another TJ vs Arroyo night). While most teams tank games to try to get better picks, maybe the Raptors tank games to get better playoff matchups. Maybe theyíre just not that good.

But letís go back to Sam being a genius. Letís say that Sam has been watching Mike ďPinballĒ Clemons continually get the most out of his players by coming through with some seriously motivational speeches. Sam has the players in the locker room, he starts talking about how nobody thinks they are going to beat the Magic. He keeps going, talking about how everybody wants to see the ManChild, Superman, Dwight Howard move on in the playoffs. He says how every media guy, from the guys on tv, to the guys in print, to the guys on the radio, the the guys at RaptorsForum (címon, what?) have been getting on them all season and now is the time to shut them (usÖbecause they really do care about us here at RFÖUS) up.

Maybe Sam goes all religious on the team. Gets them all huddled and starts talking about how God doesnít give you anything you canít handle, that the big thing is using what he has given you to accomplish what you need to. He talks about finding that inner strength, realizing that when you think you donít have anything left in the tank, when you think that this season has been the toughest emotional ride you have been on, thatís when you have to find the strength that God has put inside you, the ability he has blessed you with.

Sam could go with the ďquestion their manhoodĒ route. He simply starts talking about how getting to the playoffs isnít the hard part, that anybody can do that (especially in the East). He says that real men show up when they are challenged. That real men find out about themselves when the pressure is on, when people donít believe in them. He says that if you go into the playoffs and donít show the effort, that you may as well just sit home and eat bonbons while watching reruns of the Mom Show.

Maybe Sam is just going to the the TJ ally-oop buzzer play on every inbounds pass. I mean, hey, it was an actual play and it pretty much workedÖ

Maybe Samís just waiting for Toni Braxton to come back to town.
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Old 04-08-2008, 09:08 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Nicely done Jay.

I'm going to go with that Sam questions their manhood and challenges them. I don't see him as the religious type.
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Old 04-08-2008, 02:29 PM   #3 (permalink)
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For anyone who doesn't get the Toni Braxton bit:

I went to a Toni Braxton concert a little over a year ago at Casino Rama. I had pretty good aisle seats in the front/center of the stage about 10 rows back.

Toni Braxton sounded amazing and looked fantastic. For those who don't know, she's super short. Probably just over 5 feet tall. Anyways, Sam was sitting in the same aisle seat as me but in the first row. Toni was singing a song and came down to the floor and sat on Sam's lap (his wife was there) and essentially was all over him. Then she proceed to move down the rows, stopping at each person in the aisle seat. Second row, third row, fourth row....

I turn to the girl that came with me and said, "This is it.... this is the moment that will make my life complete. Me getting Toni Braxton on my lap running her hand through my hair and across my face."

She reached the ninth row and looked right at me....





And then the song ended and she walked back to the stage. And I cried for the rest of the concert.
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Old 04-08-2008, 10:49 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I still love hearing that story. Hilarious. Oh yeah, I think Toni's 4'11".
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Old 04-08-2008, 11:02 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Your story breaks my heart lang.

Sounds likes something that would happen to me.
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Old 04-08-2008, 11:09 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Lang and I used to have this saying, "Because we're us." We have tons of these kinds of stories. Two dudes with quite possibly the worst luck ever.
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