04-28-2012, 01:06 AM
Join Date: Dec 2007
LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, the Spurs and more storylines from the 2012 NBA Playoffs - Grantland
"OK, Dirk, here's the plan."
"We're throwing away our title defense. We're just going to put it in a Dumpster and smear it with dog feces. By the end of the regular season, Delonte West will be our third-best player, we'll be relying on an overweight Vince Carter, we'll have turned Tyson Chandler into a three-headed dose of mediocrity called Brendian Haywonimight, and unless Jason Terry is feeling it, you'll have to shoot every single time in the fourth quarter of every playoff game."
"We might win one game against Oklahoma City, that's it. Then you'll have the spring and summer off."
"Sounds good. One question: Why would we do this?"
"Because we want to sign Deron Williams this summer. This was the only way."
"Deron Williams … the guy who acted like such a dick in Utah that they flipped him into two top-three lottery picks and never looked back and since then he's been playing for a lottery team?"
"Yeah, that Deron Williams. Also, we have a 2.2 percent chance of getting Dwight Howard, too."
"Dwight Howard … the guy who's three months away from quitting on his team and needs season-ending back surgery?"
"Seriously? That's going to happen? How do you know this?"
"I just do."
"Any chance we can come up with another plan?"