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Old 11-19-2011, 01:40 AM   #1 (permalink)
Aar_Canada
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Default Beard-off!

I grew my first beard last year. I started in August, 2010, and by October, I was swimming in facial hair - and loving it. I'd always wanted a beard, going back to my teenaged years. My idol, Bobby Baker of the Tragically Hip, sported one hell o' one. My dad, the hairiest man to ever walk the face of the Earth, had a beard so large in the 1970's, it morphed into his head, neck and chest hair, creating a circle of hairy insanity.

Never in a million years did I think I'd be able to grow one. My facial hair is kinda spotty and I figured I'd come out looking like the Wolfman. I persevered and, with the encouraging words of some folks on a beard message board, stayed the course. Their advice was to give it 3 months. The patchiness gave way to fullness and I had the beginnings of a real beard. I felt more and more LIKE A MAN everytime I looked in the mirror. I started shampooing it. Time progressed and so did the hairs. When I laid my weary head down at night in bed, to try and fall asleep whilst watching some terrible Vivid porn featuring the same terrible pornstars, I'd feel it on my chest, and I'd stroke it. Yes.

I don't know what was more enjoyable - the growing and the having of the beard, or the reactions. My girlfriend told me it made her 'physically ill'. I'd get looks of fear and disgust from strangers, and I must admit, I loved being terrifying. Who would mess with a guy with a beard? NO ONE. Prior to the 80's and with the exception of the 30's, 40's and 50's, you could grow a beard and no one would think anything about it. Today, everyone has something to say about everything and beards and moustaches are OH YOO TEE-out, unless you're some ironic, hipster twat.

Most of all, I loved the fact that I was 'au naturel'. I inevitably went through a period of railing against societal expectations. Why do we shave our faces? Why do women shave their legs or their armpits? We have this hair, which grows, yet we lop it off. Why? Some say a beard makes them itch. Sure, it might in the beginning stages, but after a while, it feels like it should have been there the whole time, which really, it should have been. I mean, why don't we shave our heads too? Be gone, nasty hair!

I propose this - an RF Beard Off. Start growing a beard NOW. Don't worry about what the girlfriend or the wife (or the boyfriend or husband) might say. Just let it rip. Post photos of the progress and then of the finished product. We'll have a vote for RF Beard of the Year and the winner, well, won't win anything, but will relish in the fact that his beard is the KING OF ALL RF BEARDS!

I've started growing mine. Have you?

Last edited by Aar_Canada; 11-19-2011 at 01:55 AM.
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