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Old 07-26-2011, 08:00 AM   #19 (permalink)
is pounding the rock!

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Here's an interesting article about one of the causes of depression...

Psychoanalysts have long believed that anger towards others gets turned against ourselves. Our anger converted into self-hatred causes depression. Karen Horney (see Monte, 1980, or any theories of personality book) wrote that the basic problem starts with neurotic parents who are inconsistent (both overindulgent and demanding), lacking in warmth, inconsiderate or openly hostile, or driven by their own needs. The child resents these things. But parents are powerful and a child's only means of survival. So, because of fear or love or guilt, the child represses the anger. The child, being small, alone, confused, and helpless in an unpredictable, hostile world, is, of course, scared. How does the child protect itself? The child, aware of his or her weakness, the criticism of others, and his or her own hostility and fears, develops a "despised" self-concept. Also, the resentment of others has been turned against the self: "I am unlovable, a bad person." At the same time, the child starts to develop a notion of an "ideal" self--what he/she should be--in order to survive and get the love and approval he/she wants. This ideal self, trying to compensate for weakness and guilt, sets up impossible demands, called neurotic needs. These needs are unconscious, intense, insatiable, anxiety-causing, and out of touch with reality. For instance, if one has a neurotic need for affection, it becomes urgent to be loved by everyone, all one's peers, all the family, teachers, the paper carrier, etc. Horney listed several neurotic needs, primarily needs for perfection, power, independence, and affection. All are attempts to handle the primitive hostility from childhood. So, how do we get depressed? In extreme cases, some people become so self-effacing, i.e. compliant, unselfish, and modest; they almost do away with their "self." Suffering, helplessness, and martyrdom are their ideals. They need to be loved, liked, approved, important, but taken care of. Their "solution" is: "If you love me, you will not hurt me." But beneath this saintly, goody-goody surface sometimes boils the old anger, rage, and strong urges to be aggressive and mean. Besides, love never runs smoothly--remember everyone must love them--so these kinds of dejected people may turn against themselves, becoming very self-critical and unhappy. Often they have also become bitter because the unwritten agreement was broken, namely, "I'll be nice and not hate you, if you will love, respect, and care for me always." People striving for sainthood often suffer because others will not always put them first.
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