DEEP THOUGHTS (by George Carlin)
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
If the "blackbox" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why
isn't the whole darn airplane made out of that stuff?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help
section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all
If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become
Your birth certificate is an appology letter from the condom company.
Panties, not the greatest thing on earth but next to it.