Originally Posted by Barracuda
So, you have an open relationship with your wife (wife, right?)... how does it make you feel when she comes home after a night with another man? Whether good or bad feelings, I'm just curious. I can't imagine it myself.
And has there ever been a time when another man made her positively giddy and happy and "lovehead"? How would THAT make you feel?
If you have nothing but good feeling about all of the above, and love your lady dearly and are living as happily as possible, then I suppose I envy that in some ways. You've found a security with yourself, and someone else, that most never will.
i appreciate the questions though i am not sure at what point i said that we have an open relationship. i think that couples who do have them must be very secure in their relationship for sure and jealousy has no place if you are honest with what is going on. we have been together for a couple of years now and the topic has been discussed, but not to the point where we are participating in that style of life. that being said, I was stating that a society that looks down on those who have that form of relationship is narrowminded at best and scary at worst. I have thought about all of those questions and i am confident that if she were to come home after a night of pleasure and discuss it with me, and we had agreed that this was a life we were choosing to live together, then I would be happy for her and would share her experience with joy.
Security in a relationship is elusive without total honesty! that is a hard thing to find, but a treasure that allows both to grow as they need to. life is about moving from somewhere you are to where you want to be. if security is all about not rocking the boat in many areas of life, then, like many, you will never really find it. IF you are willing to risk revealing what it is that makes jealousy a part of your relationship, then perhaps the security you seek is closer than you think. it has been hard fought in many ways, but the struggle is usually within ourselves to be honest with what it is we are actually feeling, then sharing it with the one who claims to love us. which is scarier? I am not sure, but that is why our culture is so profoundly bound by fear! we are afraid on many levels of being rejected. that, to me, is the real root of jealousy. i am not afraid of that in any way that i am aware of, but i am 47 and have lived a full life with lots left to enjoy.
i hope that answers the questions, if not, let me know what i missed and i will complete the task!