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Old 04-08-2008, 09:06 AM   #1 (permalink)
Dr. J. Naismith
convinced that Raptors fans are only happy when they're unhappy.

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Question Jay: Maybe Sam’s a Genius

Maybe it’s the fruity alcoholic drinks talking, maybe it’s the twirling paper umbrella distracting my thought process, but maybe, just maybe, Sam Mitchell is a genius. You see, if over the next 5 games, the Raptors go 3-2, they’re going to end up lining up against the Magic. One would have to think that out of the Celtics, Pistons, Cavs and Magic, the one you would want to face would have to be the Magic. Even more than that, the Raptors probably match up best against the Magic (as long as TJ doesn’t have another TJ vs Arroyo night). While most teams tank games to try to get better picks, maybe the Raptors tank games to get better playoff matchups. Maybe they’re just not that good.

But let’s go back to Sam being a genius. Let’s say that Sam has been watching Mike “Pinball” Clemons continually get the most out of his players by coming through with some seriously motivational speeches. Sam has the players in the locker room, he starts talking about how nobody thinks they are going to beat the Magic. He keeps going, talking about how everybody wants to see the ManChild, Superman, Dwight Howard move on in the playoffs. He says how every media guy, from the guys on tv, to the guys in print, to the guys on the radio, the the guys at RaptorsForum (c’mon, what?) have been getting on them all season and now is the time to shut them (us…because they really do care about us here at RF…US) up.

Maybe Sam goes all religious on the team. Gets them all huddled and starts talking about how God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle, that the big thing is using what he has given you to accomplish what you need to. He talks about finding that inner strength, realizing that when you think you don’t have anything left in the tank, when you think that this season has been the toughest emotional ride you have been on, that’s when you have to find the strength that God has put inside you, the ability he has blessed you with.

Sam could go with the “question their manhood” route. He simply starts talking about how getting to the playoffs isn’t the hard part, that anybody can do that (especially in the East). He says that real men show up when they are challenged. That real men find out about themselves when the pressure is on, when people don’t believe in them. He says that if you go into the playoffs and don’t show the effort, that you may as well just sit home and eat bonbons while watching reruns of the Mom Show.

Maybe Sam is just going to the the TJ ally-oop buzzer play on every inbounds pass. I mean, hey, it was an actual play and it pretty much worked…

Maybe Sam’s just waiting for Toni Braxton to come back to town.
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